About a year ago I teamed up with The Mighty to put together a PTSD Depression Masterclass.
The Masterclass went so well, I actually still use the exact training to show my clients how to beat PTSD Depression.
The reason I'm writing this is because since Covid-19 started, I've had a lot of people reach out for resources on depression.
People saying things like... "I feel more hopeless than ever"
"I don't have energy to do even the most basic of things"
and "I feel like I'm fighting myself everyday and I don't want to fight all the time"
If you feel this way the good news is you're not alone and I cover all of that in the Masterclass!
Here's exactly what I cover:
• How to generate energy from thin air
• How to ensure you get out of bed every day
• How to build hope when all seems lost
• How to bring joy back into your life
• How to face the resistance of depression
I've been wanting to share this for a while but had to get a few "okay's" before I released it to the public.
Watch The Mighty training to learn how you can beat PTSD Depression so you can stop fighting yourself and start living!
Check it out and let me know what you think inthe comments?
To your recovery!
Kayleen & the team at OvercomingPTSD.com
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Alright, hey everyone! Kayleen here, and welcome to the hopelessness to happiness PTSD depression masterclass. So before I get into anything just yet, I want to make sure you can see me. You should be able to see me and a whiteboard here standing in my office and hear me okay. So make sure, you know, in that little chat box down to the right that says send email, make sure, you know, you let me know if you can hear me and you can see what I'm doing on this board here today.
And I'm not actually looking at those comments today; but one of my team members is, and I'm going to get a thumbs up in just a second here. Looks like I'm getting some thumbs up. So thank you all for interacting and letting me know that you can see me and hear me.
I'm very excited to be bringing you this presentation today. So this is a little bit different. If you've joined us (me) in The Mighty for trainings in the past, it's usually more of a slide show presentation. But there's a little bit different when we're talking about depression. A big part is energy. So before we get in here today for those of you who don't know me, my name is Kayleen. I'm a PTSD and C-PTSD recovery coach. So I personally struggled with C-PTSD for more than 15 years, and now i no longer do; and I help people all over the world recover from their own PTSD and C-PTSD through my Broken to Unbreakable program. And so if you want to know more about that, you can definitely ask me about that.
And like I said, I'm not monitoring those questions today, but they are private; they do get set sent straight to me. So my team has kind of shut that down. And now they're private just to me, so if you have any questions about anything, you can send them there and I'm going to try to get to them this week. But we're not going to be doing a Q&A here today, just because of the style of training that we're doing.
So welcome all to the hopelessness to happiness PTSD Depression Masterclass! Like I said, I'm very excited to be here with you all today. Had a lot of people sign up. The Mighty is kind enough and generous enough to put these trainings on for you all, and I love being here, and I love hosting them. So thank you for being here. Thank you for registering. You know, we're hoping to get a recording of this so we can do a replay, but we hope everything goes well live and we hope that you all enjoy the live presentation.
So thank you, The Mighty! I don't know if you all know Forrest, but Forrest from The Mighty is the one who makes this stuff happen for you. So we're always communicating, trying to bring you the best experience. So if, you know, you are replying to emails from The Mighty, definitely give Forrest a shout out and thank him for everything that he does, because he does a great job there at The Mighty putting these events on.
Alright, so without further ado, welcome to the hopelessness to happiness masterclass. So today we're gonna be talking about five kind of key things when it comes to depression:
How to generate energy from thin air, that's number one. Number two, how to ensure you get out of bed every single day. Number three, how to build hope, when all seems lost. Number four, how to bring the joy back into your life. And number five, how to face the resistance of depression, I'll kind of explain what that is as we go along, and that's a term I like to use for depression. And then, you know, lastly, I'm going to give you some additional resources if you all want, and we'll get some feedback on the training and future trainings you'd want to see.
So like I said, today we're talking about depression. And for for me when I was struggling with with my C-PTSD and for, you know, my boyfriend, this was a huge, huge issue. And for a lot of people, it's a huge issue. Because, you know, not only are you usually dealing with something like a lot bigger, right--depression is a symptom of PTSD and C-PTSD, and a symptom of a lot of things. But, so not only can you not really work on that PTSD, you're feeling the core of that C-PTSD, but you have a hard time even you know, doing anything, or generating energy anywhere, or getting out of bed or, or even thinking about getting out of bed. So that's what we're going to address here today.
This is a great training. We've gotten some just amazing feedback on this training. I do them for Udeme, I do them. I do them through our own kind of website. And you know, I love doing the masterclass for a few reasons. And one of them is just because I get to stand up and teach and be in front of the whiteboard. And that's kind of what lights me up. So you're going to get to see me do some pretty silly things today. And I hope that you can enjoy them at home or wherever you are as well.
So if you're seated, that's awesome; if you have the room to get up--and you'll see what I mean in just a second here when we jump in--that would be awesome, too. So you can definitely look out for that. So I'm gonna erase this here and we're going to jump into our first point, which is how to generate energy from thin air. So you'll have to just bear with me in my hand writing. I've done my best to to serve you in the best way possible, which means that of course, I've prepared for you all.
So, we'll do red for The Mighty here, how to generate energy from thin air. And now in this section we're just going to be talking about a few things. Number one, we're going to define energy. Seems pretty straightforward, right? If we want to know how to create energy, we have to know what energy is.
Number two, we're going to be talking about making the choice. So I'm going to explain what that is, and how important that is. Number three--this is my all time favorite thing to do, ever. If you ever see me do a training, if you've ever seen the master class before, you know exactly what I'm talking about. We're gonna be doing a dance party. And so if you do have some room to have a dance party with me, I am actually going to show you how to have a dance party. So if you have some room, make some room. If you don't have some room, and you're seated, or you're in the car listening, whatever it is, you can still have a dance party with us. And I will explain that as well. Number D... number four, we're gonna be talking about GST. So this is something... this isn't a term that I made up. And it's actually a slightly more vulgar term that I'm going to explain, but get stuff done. And so we're going to be talking about to do lists and little tasks. And number five, what we're going to be talking about under this section is staying healthy and aware.
And I'm going to give you a resource to show you kind of how to track that, how to make that work for you and how to how to effectively implement that into your life. And now, if it's your first time doing a training with me, everything I do is action based. So you know, I always say if I could do all the work for you, I would and I've been there you know, I've been at rock bottom. I've been to making the choice to kind of to give up or or keep fighting what seems like a fruitless battle. I've been to that place. You know, I've been completely, you know, an addict, I've lost all of my relationships, I've had to rebuild them from the ground up. And you know, I live this life now where I get to give and serve. And this is something that lights me up. But you know, I've been where some of you are, or some of you have been. And it's a really hard place to be. And if I could do the work for you, I would. But unfortunately, that's not how life works.
So everything I teach is actually action-action-action-based. And that's really important because you know, you can learn a theory all day long. You can learn how the brain works. You can learn how your brain changes when you have PTSD. You can learn about how some people change it back. But if you never take action, you're never going to get anywhere. So that's why everything we do is action-based. So I do my best to, you know, explain at a higher level, but not a super high level. So you get what you need, you get an understanding, and you can take action right away. So that's kind of the format of everything I do if you're new, if you know me already, you know that that's true.
So number one, let's define energy here. So I've written the definition for energy here. And energy is the capacity or power to do work, such as moving object, by the application of force. Now I've highlighted kind of some key words here. Now, energy I put in green. Energy is good. Energy is awesome. Energy is movement. It is the capacity or power to do work, such as move an object by the application of force, and I've underlined 'by the application of force.' And that's... I did that for a very specific reason.
And what I want to talk about is, you know, the power to do work, so to do... really to do anything... to do something, such as move an object. Now what does that really mean? Now we're not, we're not getting energy from anything, we're creating energy. So we are the object. So we, the object, need the power to do work. And now how we do that (by the definition of energy) is by the application of force. And now, this can be a tough pill to kind of swallow, because this is the last thing that you want to do. I know it, but it is the most most important thing to do.
So we are the object. We have to create our own energy; we're generating our own energy by the application of force. And so that's important kind of going in through the whole training and that's going to come up and I'll probably define that kind of again and again and again, because it's really important to keep that Top of Mind. Energy is created by the application of force. Energy is created by the application of force, right? So like, when I woke up today, now I have like... I have... I'm not trying to brag or pump my tires, but I have an amazing life. I love the life that I lead. And still, because I'm human, you know, I get up and I do my kind of morning routine. And I still have to create energy right?
So now, I still have to create this energy for you. You know, would I like to sleep in and would I like to maybe just kind of chill out for the weekend, and maybe watch a movie? Yes, yes, very much I would, and there are times that I make time to do those things. But today, what I've done by the application of force was to create this energy for you, so I could put this training on for you all and for The Mighty here today. So that's important going forward.
Now number two, we're talking about making the choice. And now I left this kind of ambiguous for a reason. But the choice is actually to smile now. So this goes along really nicely with how to create our own energy and generate our own energy, we have to bring our own energy to the world. And making the choice is smiling. And so there's actually been studies done on this, and I don't have the numbers in front of me. But there's been studies done on forcing a 3-second smile--I'm smiling just thinking about it. And so the exercise 'making the choice' is making the choice to do this exercise. And the exercise is to force yourself to smile for 30 seconds. Literally set a timer. And if you're someone who... you find you don't smile a lot, 30 seconds is a long time. It's a long time anyway. See, I'm already smiling. And I was, I'm going to do it for you in a second. But this... by the end of the 30 seconds, you're going to find that forced smile, turns into a real smile, okay, and so like, like I said, right, I'm already kind of smiling.
So we're just going to do it. So do it with me right now. You know, wherever you are; however you feel; whatever you're doing; by the application of force, force yourself to do this smile. I have a clock right there. I'm going to let you know when 30 seconds is over. So we'll start in two seconds. Start now. And I will let you know when that 30 seconds is up. And you know, you're forcing this smile. And this is the... again, you're creating this energy.
And now you have this power, and you've taken this power into your own hands. And so we're not relying on external things. We want to have the power, we want to take control of our life and our energy. Okay, so hopefully you're still smiling, we're still rocking and rolling there, we got about five seconds left. And those smiles for a lot of you probably are turning into real smiles. And so this is really important. And I'm going to talk about it again a little bit later when we talk about our next subject. But to bring into your everyday life, because this is a pretty simple kind of silly kind of fun exercise. So that 30 seconds is up. To create that energy to really bring that into your life and make that a habit and make that a routine in your life. So that is a really super silly one. But a super fun one. Excuse me here.
And our third point (like I said, my personal favorite) is to have a dance party. And now this is something I do probably literally every day, if not twice a day. So I am just genuinely going to have a dance party with you right now. And the important thing isn't that you're a good dancer. It isn't that you have the right moves; and you're going to see just how bad a dancer I am here. In just a second I'll play a little clip of a song--hopefully you can hear it through the mic here. And you know, if you're sitting if you're just listening, you know, I want you to dance with me, if you can get up and dance to the song with me, then then do it, you know, but if you can't, and you have to stay seated, you're at an office... I don't know kind of where you're listening from. But if you're in the car, just like move your torso.
So if you can see me you can see, right, I'm already I'm already so excited to dance and to do this. So just... you just... can just like kind of move your upper body so it doesn't have to be this big, extravagant to-do, right,? You just want to move, and you just want to dance; and so I'm gonna play a song here. We're gonna have a dance party. And the important thing is, you know, pick a song that you know you like. Pick a song that's upbeat; pick a song that you enjoy dancing to you that has like a good forward momentum. This is Charlie Puth; it's called" Look at Me Now". And it just kind of gets me going, right? And so you just want to be jumping around. And you just... you just create this energy; and you can jump, and you can spin... I can't spin too much because I have a little wire on me here for the mic, but you know, you just... you just want to get into it, right?
Just have a good time and create that energy, and bring that energy; and that's the most important thing and like I said, even if you're sitting in a car, you can create this energy. So like this is... I'm genuinely that bad of a dancer. But you know, that's like, that's all that it is and having that dance party... I mean it gets you moving, it gets everything going. And again, you're creating that energy by the application of force. Okay, and so it's so important to do that I literally do that every day.
They say there's studies done... actually this is a little unrelated, but on the effect of dancing and Alzheimer's: and so dancing is the number one activity that you can do to prevent Alzheimer's, so just that's just a bonus. But it's exercise, right? It gets you moving; it gets your body going; it gets your mind going; and it's... you know, you start to feel good and so that was just you know, something silly, something quick that you can do. That is so much fun. Like I said, I do that every single day. Some good people to dance to? Shania Twain... I don't know BeeBees... just like something with a beat something, that makes you move. Try not to pick any kind of sad songs, but something that just makes you feel good, right? You know that there's that song, whether it's like Smash Mouth or whatever that you hear on the radio, that you just feel like you have to crank it up, you can't stop yourself. So that's what you're looking for in a dance party. Some of my favorites are genuinely Shania Twain.
So have a dance party, and that can make all the difference. Like I said, you get your body moving, you get going, it makes you laugh, it makes you smile. When I do it at home, if you saw me at my house... In the winter, I have these slippers; they have ...I used to be really into horses as a kid. My feet haven't grown all that much, apparently. So I have these slippers and they have like horses they're like actually like horse heads on them. They're like stuffed-animal slippers. And so you know when I'm dancing in my slippers, when I put the music on, like right? When I get up the the heads are bouncing and you know, Shiloh, my dog is... he's coming around, and he's, he's barking at them. He's a Shetland sheep dog. So he, he likes to herd them. And he's, he's biting at you know, at my slippers. And we're just having a good time. And again, you're creating this energy, you have to bring this energy to the table, and you have to generate this energy from yourself.
So again, what and we're talking about here is how to generate energy from thin air. Put some music on have a dance party, you will not regret it. Even if you didn't like that song, even if you're sitting; even if you know you can't, whatever it is, even if you're at work and you're feeling low energy, this is a great time. Pop some headphones in and just, you know, and just get your torso moving and get your body moving. And you don't have to be a good dancer, I'm actually that bad of a dancer. If you saw me at a wedding, it would just be just like that. It's a little bit sad in and of itself. But it's super fun. And I enjoy it. And that's all that matters.
And then our third point here... sorry, for our fourth point is GSD: Get Stuff Done--nd now if you want, you can replace that 'stuff' with something more adult--but get stuff done. Now this is something I recommend to almost everyone that I work with. And it's a to-do list, and we're going to be talking about this in the next kind of section here. But write a to-do list, and accomplish small tasks. And what I like to do and what I like to recommend is a physical to-do list. So we're talking about like, pen and paper, old fashioned sticky note and pen, whatever it is... whiteboard and marker...
Write a to-do list of small, little tiny tasks, it doesn't have to be big things. It can be... It could be make to do list, got it done, right? Check, got it done. It can be you know, pick up clothes, it can be make breakfast, have breakfast, clean up from breakfast, do dishes from from breakfast, put dishes away from breakfast, you want to make it really little things, because what we're looking to do here is build momentum. And again, create that energy. And this is a way to do that. Starting small and just making that to do list, and actually making the first thing on your to do list 'make to do list' is really powerful.
And then, why I recommend doing it on pen and paper is you get to cross it off. You get to like physically feel the effects of like, "Yes, I did it!" Really check it off, or erase it or whatever it is. And then when you're done with that to do list (again, make it super small tasks), you have all this momentum to do the next task and to cross it off, and to cross it off, to cross it off. And when you're done with it, you can literally crumple it up if you do it on real paper. Or if you print out whatever it is, you can crumple it up, you throw it away, and you just slam dunk it! Okay, so that's another way to generate that energy, you have to force... by the application of force, you have to bring that energy to the table. So that's a really, really good exercise.
And number five, we're talking about staying healthy and staying aware. And this is a little bit more about sapping energy. So we want to be careful you know, when we're generating all this energy, we want to be careful we're not taking it away. And now we've worked really hard to get this energy; it's by the application of force. And we don't want anything to take that away. And so you know, we want to be careful. And I'm going to list a few things here of of staying healthy and staying aware of our energy.
And so what I have here, it's called an energy levels audit. And you know, there are certain things in our life that sap our energy. There are certain things that give us energy; for example: going outside gives me energy, or going out in the snow. If you live someone, somewhere where there's snow, going out in the snow gives me energy, going you know to, just going swimming, taking a cold shower gives me energy, so but you have to become aware of those things. So what gives me energy; what takes my energy away?
Here's an example of something that takes energy away that people aren't often aware of. This was a big one for me, is food. Right? So, like cheesecake was a big one for me. Cheesecake is very, very heavy and oftentimes you know, like around Thanksgiving, you know, I go to my boyfriend's family's house or I go to my family house. And everyone brings a ton of dessert--a ton of pie, a ton of cheesecake...ah, it's so good, right? And so I help myself to a couple slices of cheesecake. And you'll notice like if you're someone who celebrates Thanksgiving, if you're in the States, you know what happens after everyone eats a Thanksgiving meal? What happens after everyone has dessert after Thanksgiving, where you go to the couch, and everyone kind of passes, out right? Everyone just like, just falls asleep because they sap their energy.
And now, food is something that takes your awareness and it takes your energy. Overeating takes your energy. So for me, eventually I started to notice: "Okay, when I have a big serving of cheesecake, I feel tired, I feel kind of like cranky, I don't feel so well. And then as time goes on as I like digest that cheesecake or whatever, I start to get that energy back and I start to feel that clarity. I start to feel better again." So food is a really, really big one. And I'm not saying to give up cheesecake by any stretch of the imagination! It's delicious... but be, be aware of overeating. So now when I eat cheesecake I eat... you know, a very small amount, just enough to be like "Oh that was so good!" But it doesn't take my energy away, because I don't want to sacrifice my energy for cheesecake.
Okay, so what I have here--and I'll kind of draw it on the board here for you all--it's called an energy levels audit. And now this is... maybe I'll try to email this to you all and get this out to you all, because I have a little download that I can give to you. But the energy levels audit is really, really simple. So if we don't end up kind of emailing this to you, it's really simple. So it's just a tracking system to become aware of what things you know make you feel good, make you feel bad, make you feel awesome, make you feel worse. And so it's just the date... you're gonna write the date; and then what gave me energy, and what took it.
So basically that's all it is... so a couple days ago it was the fourth of July so let's just say Fourth of July.... Okay, and what gave me energy was exercise. What gave me energy was water. Oh, big one! Staying hydrated water, especially--"warter," as we say here in the states--water. What took my energy was overeating. Right I'm not... I'm human, sometimes I still engage. What took my energy was two hamburgers; what took my energy was Netflix.
Okay, and so it's it's it's pretty simple, it's pretty straightforward and you can kind of make your own. And I'll talk to you about, a little bit about what things to kind of keep an eye out for, but you want to be aware of what takes your energy and what gives you energy: basically, what's positive and what's negative. And this is just kind of a good general rule for your life. And again, like a lot of people aren't aware of the things that take their energy and the things that give them energy and you know, this is your life. This is your energy, and again by the application of force we're working so hard for this energy; we don't want to give it up for for no reason. We don't want to give it up for anything! We want to keep it all of ourselves--want to be selfish, want to take all this energy; I mean we created it, we deserve it right?
So, the energy levels audit: think about everything that you do, so it's just to become aware. So it's just a tracking system to become aware of the things that you do: the things that take your energy, and the things that give you energy. So you know think about sleep duration, if you--excuse me--if you don't sleep so well, maybe you don't get enough sleep. Again it was the fourth of July a few days ago. And you know let's say you stayed out late and you got up early to go to work on time. Maybe you were out too late; maybe you were, you know, engaging in some some alcohol or a lot of overeating or a lot of like barbecue; whatever it is, right, so sleep duration is a really good one. So when I get too much sleep I don't have a lot of energy; when I get way not enough sleep I don't have a lot of energy. But there is this kind of perfect seven, eight, nine hours that like I wake up and I feel like, "Ah yes."
So that's one to look out for: quality of sleep. So for those of you who are here that have PTSD or C-PTSD, this can be a really challenging one right? And that is kind of a whole nother training in and of itself. But quality of sleep. Do you... did you... like, was was the room the perfect temperature? Did you have like just the right blanket? Was it was your pillow just right? Was your pillow cool? And was it the just the perfect sleep, the fan was on? You were just like Zen you just like got in, fell asleep, it was perfect.
Or, you know, was it kind of a restless night? Was it too hot in the room so you were restless; was it just... was it just not a good quality of sleep? And then because consistency of sleep times is a big one--and if you know me, if you've seen some of the other trainings, you know, I talk a lot about routine and a lot about keeping things consistent. And you know, okay, so if I go to bed at 8pm I feel great; if I go to bed at 11pm, not so great; if I go to bed at 9:30 I feel okay. So again, just kind of some things to look out for.
Exercise. Okay, I went on this bike ride yesterday, you know, on the Fourth of July, I went for a bike ride. And it was a 10 mile bike ride, it was all flat, it was good. But man, I felt so good at the end of the day, like bike ride gave me exercise, gave me... gave me energy, that's a really good one. Or, you know, I went way too far, I pushed myself way too hard. And it took all my energy, or I went for a walk in the sun and being outside gave me energy, just some things to look for. Diet, same thing, we talked about food.
Productivity and accomplishment, this is another good one. You know, I did my to do list. And I, I you know, I got up and we'll talk about, you know, morning routines in just a second here. But I got up, and I just I checked it off. And I did it. And I just, I was so productive today. I crushed it. And it was awesome and it gave me energy. Or, you know, wasn't so productive today, because it was a weekend because I didn't have to be productive. And I felt okay, but it took my energy still, you know, it feels good to have a full day, whatever it is.
Workplace enjoyment, fulfillment and purpose. Now this is something that's going to come up again in a little bit. But you know, if you maybe you go to a job that you don't really like, or people are especially negative at your job. And you know, that can sap your energy; it can like zap it right out of you. You go and you're with people you don't want to be with, you're doing something you don't enjoy; that can absolutely take your energy. So that's something to look out. Again, fulfilment, purpose: same thing, do you feel like, you know, there's something that's driving you? Do you feel like there's something in the future for you? Does that, you know, does the thought of that, or the lack of that give you energy? Or take your energy? And, you know, setting worthy goals? Do you set goals that, you know, you're excited about achieving or do you set goals that are like, you feel like are, you know, "I set goals because it's new years, and, you know, people tell me to but I don't I don't really care for them?"
And you know, open loops, this is a good one. Are there things in your head? Are there things in your life that you've just like you've... you know, you haven't mailed that bill, or you haven't texted these people back. And this is a big one, this is a big one for me for taking my energy away. It's like, "Oh, you know, I have to do this thing. And I have to, I have to clean this before this date. And I have to make sure my house is in order. And you know, I have to make sure I get this project done." And maybe maybe if you're in school, like this assignment has to be done by this date. And like you have all these open loops, you have all these like open projects that are just not getting done, that can be definitely a sapper of energy. At least if you're someone like me.
So, just some things to look out for. And again, it's all about the awareness, you know, stay aware of what takes your energy and what gives you energy. So like, like I said before, something that gives me energy is being outdoors; being in the sun, being in the cold, being in, you know, at the beach, being in the water, taking a shower or cold shower, just like - oh - just gives me energy. So think about those things. So, soind good? Okay. I'm going to take a sip here, and then we're going to transition to how to ensure you get out of bed every day. And this is one of my personal favorites, I have a lot of favorites. If you know me, you know, I say that all the time. Because I just love all of this information. I love what I do. And I love teaching it to you all. So we're going to transition into that in just a sec.
Alright, so we'll take this down, then the energy will probably come up. Again, we'll take this down. And again, the energy levels audit, you know, we'll, I'll try to get it emailed to you. So you can have the download, but that's all that it is is is the date, what gave you energy, what took your energy, and just staying aware. So it's just a really simple worksheet to help you stay aware of those things. Alright, so that's it for how to generate energy from thin air.
Number two, how to ensure you get out of bed every day. Now this can be a really challenging one for a lot of different reasons and for a lot of different people. And so what we're going to be talking about in this one here is something I call PTT, which I'll explain in a second. I love my little acronyms, and then morning routine, and finally energy activity, which are some of the activities we talked about just a minute ago, and I'm gonna explain some more. But number one--excuse me--is PTT. And this is something I still do because it's that important: plan tomorrow, today. That's what PTT stands for. At the end of every workday, at the end of every personal day, I have I PTT, I plan tomorrow today, because, you know, I found out on my recovery, I found out working with people all over the world that this makes the difference. If you want to have a great day, it starts the night before. It starts planning the next day.
So I know we have some people from all over the world kind of watching this training, if you're watching this at night, go and do this, right when this training is done and plan tomorrow, today. And now what do we want to plan, right? We want to plan when we're going to get up. We want to plan our morning routine, which I'm going to talk about in a second. We want to plan what would make tomorrow great. What would make tomorrow like, "Yes, I won. I did a good thing. It was great." What would make it awesome.
And then we're gonna be talking about in our morning routine, our first win--and this is a cool one. And there have actually been books written on this this first one. But first and foremost, how to ensure you get out of bed every single day is to plan tomorrow today. Now morning routines. Again, if you've seen trainings with me, you know how much I love consistency. Consistency inhealing is the only magic pill, and this will come up again, and again, and again.
Now a morning routine, having something kind of set in stone that you do every single day, is really important for consistency. And you know, and then when you plan your tomorrow today, you already have the first section, you've got it and you have to, you know, start to make this a habit. If you've seen my, you know, recovery training: if you've seen the PTSD and C-PTSD recovery training, you know I talk about consistency. You know I talk about the habits that you need to complete your recovery journey; to be successful on your recovery journey. And that is morning routine.
So if you stepped into my life, I could I could hand you my schedule. And you could do it, like pretty much the same way that I do minus obviously some some things that only I can do, but I could hand you my morning routine and and be like, "Okay, get up, have a glass of water, make my bed. Okay, brush my teeth, you know, do whatever I need to do in there. Take Shiloh out, take Shiloh for a walk, exercise, you know, and you'd have my exercise routine underneath that.
And then you know, shower, get dressed, meditate, read for a little bit, do affirmations, do... you know, and all of those things are part of my morning. So I get up at five. And I start work at 7:30. And so between 5:00 and 7:30--two and a half hours is a long time, and one of them of course is coffee--between 5:00 and 7:30 is my morning routine. And it's super important, and it's consistent every single day.
So morning routine, whatever that is crafted, and always on your morning routine should be make your bed. And if you've if you've heard if you've heard about the book, I forget who wrote it. It was a military guy, he wrote a book called make your bed. And he gave a commencement speech on it at some college... whatever. Making your bed is the first when in your day. So you get out of bed.
Now, a trick to kind of making sure that you get out of bed is setting your alarm and putting it across the room. Okay, because otherwise it's really annoying. So you know, right, when you hear that alarm go off, stand up, get out of bed, shut it off, make your bed. And there's a few reasons that you want to do this: number one, it's the first win of the day. You've already accomplished a task, you already get to check something off.
And so when we're talking about energy, again, we're creating it by force and we're putting all this work in, and we really want to be able to reap the benefits. And a lot of this force is about momentum and so the more momentum you get, the less force you have to apply. So at first it's really challenging. It's like pushing a boulder, right, you need like all this force to get it going. But then once it gets going it's like okay, alright, it's getting a little easier. And then all of a sudden it's like doing the work itself and like that's where I'm at now right? I don't feel like I need to to force it, right?
And there are certain times like, like here with you, you know I this is like genuinely my energy level. But you know, I make sure I'm alert. I make sure I'm here with you so I can serve you in the best way. So you make your bed; It's the first one of the day. You're starting that momentum, you're getting that momentum going. And it feels good at the end of the day to get in a made bed. Or it's like going to a hotel or something, you know you go to the hotel and it's like, like this room is so neat, everything looks so good. And you get into your you know, your tucked sheets, and it just feels good, right? It's cool, it's not messy, it feels good to be in there. So that's really important; make sure you get that first win which is making your bed.
And then number three in your morning routine and your plan tomorrow today, you know you want to think about "Okay, these are the things I'm going to do: one, I'm always going to add make my bed. You can always add, you know, drink water. You get to hydrated during the night. You know, we talked about staying healthy and aware in the last section. And you know, again, you get to hydrated overnight. You don't drink for like eight hours. And so the first thing like one of the very first things that I do is, besides make my bed is drink a full glass of water, and it gets kind of your body and your metabolism going again, but... An energy activity. So whether that's the 30-second smile, whether that's the dance party, whether that's a walk outside, whether that's you know, if you're like a 10 pushups kind of person, a jumping jacks kind of person--I used to do that.
I used to teach sailing. And when my class wasn't energetic enough, when they were... I used to teach all different ages and college kids, you know, towards the end of the semester, wed just kind of be like, tired and done and like ready to kind of like "senioritis", if you've ever heard that term. And before we did the lesson, you know, I want to make sure everyone's alert and aware of so I can teach. And so it can serve in the best way possible. We do jumping jacks, right, and it always got the energy up. And it always got the kind of the momentum for the day and for the lesson. So choose an energy activity to add to your morning routine.
So when you plan tomorrow, today, you know, think about what would make tomorrow great, what would you know, if I was laying in bed tomorrow night, and tomorrow already happened. And I did these three things, what would make them great? What would do it? And have a specific plan to do that so specific in your morning routine, and your morning routine can extend into your day. So very often in my morning routine, I want to get my first three things done, like right out the gate. And usually I pick the hardest things, the things I've been like dreading that day. So if it's like, send this, send this email to this person, and it's like super, super long, okay, like, that's the first thing I'm going to do. And then it's gonna be like, the hard thing is out of the way. So I do my morning routine, I do the three things. Usually that will make that day great.
And now I have all this momentum, I've created all this energy. And again, so that make sure you add an energy activity because it's super important. And like I said, it's like pushing a boulder. So at first it's really, really challenging. Now like I don't, I don't need to exert a lot of force to put on a dance party or to to do this smile activity--like I just do it, it's just super fun--or to exercise right when you're getting into exercising, it takes a good amount of willpower or a good amount of force to do those things at first. But as you you know, exercise more and more and you start to kind of feel the benefits of it, you have this momentum. So it's a lot easier to get yourself to the gym or to get yourself outside or things like that. So that's how you ensure you get out of bed every single day, is plan tomorrow today. So if you're somewhere right now where it's nighttime or nearing nighttime, try this: make it to do list with your morning routine. Make sure you have make your bed on there and make sure you have an energy activity, whether that's a smile activity, getting outside or dancing, whatever it is, make sure you put it on so PTT is super duper, duper important.
And like I said, you know, in regards to information that I teach, I don't ever teach something that I haven't personally done and it hasn't personally affected my life in a super positive way and it hasn't served my life. And so when I'm telling you to do these things, you know, I'm not just, I'm not just telling you, right, they're from they're from a place of pain, usually right and so doing all these things myself, you know, way back when, to to get myself up and going and like you know, you can see where I'm at now if you if you watch the trainings, if you listen to the podcasts that my partner and I do you you see kind of where I am now and you see like, these are the things that got me here. So it's not just I'm not I would never ever BS you and again, everything is action based. So it's super important. You know, I've worked with people all over the world, that you take these almost like take them as scripture, and like just do them and apply them, and apply them consistently. Because consistency over time is the only only only magical pill in healing.
I actually have a I have a chart here. This isn't from this training. But this is a results over time chart. And you know, this is all about consistency and something that's called the compound effect and I teach it in a lot of my trainings and a lot of things that I do and you know, this right here, we have results. And right here we have time. And we can see like, okay, we're taking action, we're taking action, you know, we're not really getting a ton of results, we're taking action, we're taking action for a long, long time. But then all of a sudden, we start to see results. And then all of a sudden, we see a ton of results. And this is that momentum that I was talking; about this is that pushing the boulder. It's like," Oh, I just like it's so hard to get it going, I just can't quite get it going. But I'm working, I'm doing it consistently, consistently." And then all of a sudden, you have this exponential growth until you're literally off of the chart. And so that's what consistency can do for you. That's what action can do for you. And that's what consistency over time can do for you. And like I said, it's the only magic pill in healing. If you consistently take actions on the things that I tell you, if you if you were here with us for the relief tools training, the anxiety training: consistency over time. If you've seen my PTSD and C-PTSD recovery training, consistency over time in everything that we do. So I hope that brings a little clarity to why I'm saying and why I'm constantly saying that.
And you know, now we'll talk about how to build hope when all seems lost. I'll get this guy out of here. So how do we build hope when all seems lost? Now this was a big issue that I had, this is a big issue that a lot of people have, and the term I've been using, you know, lately is what lights you up, you know, is there something that you do, or have done in the past, or think about doing that lights you up? That like you just feel... you feel that energy, you don't even feel like you have to create it, you think about being a rock star, it just like gets you so excited. You think about giving back to people like me, for me, like what lights me up is teaching. What lights me up is giving you this information; it is serving people through trainings and, and helping people, and helping people on their recovery journey. It lights me up, it gets me up in the morning. So, "How do we build hope when all seems lost?" is number one. Find your purpose; or as I like to say, what lights you up?
And think about that, you know, is there a thing when I said then in the moment I said what lights you up? Was there a thing that you would like be an astronaut or like play... play Gillette Stadium or play MSG, you know, Madison, Madison Square Garden in New York City or you know, dance as as a Rockette; whatever, whatever what it doesn't have to be like a big like thing, you know, but what lights you up? You have to find what lights you up. And then number two, where you're talking about, you know, asking what you want.
And now this is something that a lot of people don't do, ever in their life. And so it's something I like to do with people. And we'll do it in just a second. And I'll explain how important it is and how it's one of the most selfless--not selfish--one of the most selfless things that you can do for you, that you can do for your family,, that you can do in your life.
Number three, look for people who have done it. Now what is it, we'll talk about that in a second. And why it's so so important to find those references. So if you know if you if you work with me one on one in the recovery program, you know about references you know about beliefs. If you've seen the PTSD and C-PTSD recovery training, you know a little bit about beliefs and how important they are to your recovery journey. And I'll talk about that in a second.
And then number four is small steps. So you know, there's that old Chinese proverb that's like the journey of 1000 steps... 1000 miles starts with a step and that is really, really true. So this is really important. So number one: purpose, what lights you up. Now, finding what lights us up can be challenging, and for a lot of people that I work with, they're, you know, into their 60s, some of them into their 70s and they feel like they don't have enough time to find what lights them up. Or you know, like why does at this point why does it matter and you know, that couldn't be further from the truth. You know, no matter what age you are, no matter how young you are how, you know old, you are--sixty's not old--you know, people live to like, over 100 these days, you got another like 40 years, you know I'm talking about. So you know, it doesn't matter what age you are, it's really important to find what lights you up. And again, this doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be "be a rock star." But if you want it to be "be a rock star," then then make it that if that's what lights you up, that's what lights you up. And, you know, we find what lights us up by asking what you want.
So I want you to take a second right now--and I'm going to take some water--I want you to take a second right now and think about what do I want? What lights me up? What do I want, and really think about that and sit in that for a second. And as thoughts start to pop into your head. What I want you to do is try to ignore the thoughts that say, Yeah, but or, but you know, realistically, yeah, but how... you know, all of those things that start with that the "yeah but"? Or "how would you", or "that's not realistic"; ignore all those thoughts. Ask yourself what you want, what lights you up. Again, if it's being an astronaut, that's awesome. And so, you know, a lot of people if they have an aspiration, like being an astronaut, they think like, you know, what, what would I want? I want to be an astronaut. And then all of a sudden, this mind in the back of their head starts to say, Yeah, but what about your dog? Yeah, but you don't have enough schooling? Yeah, but can you really be an astronaut? You're not tall enough, you're not strong enough, you're not smart enough? Yeah, but you know you need to focus on your current career so you can support your family."
So I want you to ignore all those things for a second. Don't think about your dog. Don't think about your family. Don't think about anything except for you. What do you want if you were the only person that mattered and truly like you are the person that matters? I promise this won't hurt your family. Think about you for the next like 60 seconds and it won't do any harm to your dog, it won't do any harm to your family, and think about what really lights you up and what what you enjoy what what is it? is it being a swimmer, is it professionally doing photography, professionally doing art, you know, ask yourself what you want. So take a second right now and ask yourself what you want.
Alright, so I really hope that you did that because it's really important, and if you didn't do it, make time to do it. Ask yourself what you want. Ask yourself what lights you up. And then the next thing I want you to do is look for people who have done it. This is so important we have to, you know, it's in... this is your life that we're talking about you know, today we're talking about depression. Today we're talking about having to create energy, right, because we don't already have it. And having a passion having something that like, makes you want to jump out of bed not even get out of it jump out of bed in the morning, because you're so excited because it lights you up is really important, right? Because you're going to take that momentum and you... like I showed you that compound effect before, I showed you that chart just now: results over time. And having a purpose, having a passion for something is going to get you there even faster. And it's going to be even easier. So whatever it is, and I don't know you, I don't know your situation. I don't know what you want. I don't know what lights you up. I told you what lights me up, what lights me up, is, you know, is dogs. Dogs like me up just in the best way. Right? So I love spending time with dogs. Okay, so, you know, maybe I want to be a vet, okay? Not, you know, not so much. But I love teaching dogs. I love babysitting dogs. You know, I love teaching people about mental health. I love just teaching in general, right? I've taught all sorts of different things.
Helping people would be my umbrella. Like what lights me up? And that's mine, right? And what do I want, I want to help people want to get out of bed every day, and make a difference. I want to get... and that's that's why you know, when Forrest and I from The Mighty... Forrest from The Mighty and I connected, it's just like, "Hey, you know, this is what I want to do. I want to help people. I want to put on this free training" it's value only. That's all that it is is to help you because I so wish... I so wish when I was struggling that someone would have just said like, do this, do this consistently over time. And you'll get here., right? And so reach out a hand. I'm reaching out a hand to you. And if I could physically grab your hand I would. And to help you into this position that I am now because then we get to help the world. And I know for some of you out there a lot of people who have been in hard situations, you know, call themselves empaths and that's awesome. That's great. But you know what? A lot of people love to help other people, especially when you've been through hardship.
So it It's just it's really, really important to to find what lights you up and you know me spreading this message to you, you spreading it to someone else, it's just this big chain reaction. And we all live in this world together. So whatever it is that lights you up, whether it's being an astronaut, or a rock star, or a gardener, just having your own vegetable garden, and just sustaining vegetables for the year, or having an indoor vegetable garden, again, it can be really big, like we've been to the moon, you know, nothing's impossible. So it can be really, really big. Or it can be it can be really humble. And it really doesn't matter if it lights you up, it lights you up. And you know, ask yourself what it is that you want. And that's so, so important. So, again, don't listen to that voice that says, "Yeah, but" you know, and all those negative things that just kind of pour in, when we think about us for a second when we think about what we want when we think about what lights us up, don't think about any of those things. Just think about what you want, and then look for people who have done it. So you need to create references of people who have done it.
Now we... again, we've we've been to the moon if you you know I'm in the United States. So if you however many years ago talked to a Native American and you were like, "See that? Yeah, we're going to we're going to walk on that. We're going to go there, and we're going to walk on it, and we're gonna put a flag in it. You know, they would be like you're out of your mind. You're you know, insane and go away. You know, they would think that you're absolutely out of your mind. But we did it. Okay, so that voice in your head is like that person that doesn't... can't see the future and that's no fault of their own. That voice isn't bad. It's just not valid. Okay? So you have to believe in yourself, but the big key to believe in yourself is looking for people who have done it. So you know if you want to be a musician, if you want to be a rock star, look for rock stars, right? Like Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl. Taylor Swift, like one of the biggest pop stars on the planet. Ed Sheeran, Charlie Puth, I played his music before. Sean Mendez, The Beatles, you know, look for people who have done it. A lot of them...
Actually, on this shelf back here are a lot of people who have done amazing things. I have a few books from Ellen, from Shania Twain, from Dolly Parton, you know, and from all sorts of people who have done all sorts of great things, because people have done it. And a lot of people are like me, like, exactly what I'm doing now is like Dolly Parton wrote a book on her experiences, and how, you know, the hardships that she went through in her life, and then how she was able to achieve great... like she has a statue in her hometown. That's, that's pretty cool for some people, right? And so look for those people, there are people out there who have done it, or done real close things, real similar things, right. So before anyone landed on the moon, it's like, okay, like someone is out there. Also having this dream, someone is out there, you know, with the theory behind it. Someone is out there sending rocket ships to it. So you know, then what's the next step?
So look for people who have done things like that. And small steps, take small steps. Like I said, the journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. And we want to always be thinking about, like, you know, where we are now, is right here. And what can be tricky is a lot of people, especially when they do something like this, when they think of like a dream or a goal, you know, you think of the end result, which is this like big fantastic for a lot of people like just super duper, it would light you up, it would make you so happy, like Disney World destination, like this is just paradise, right? And you know, if getting to paradise lights you up, that's great. And now now all of a sudden, we have 10,000 miles. And a lot of people, what they do, is they see "Oh, here's where I am, and here's where I want to go, Well, there's 10,000 miles, like there's no way." And again, that's that voice in your head. And you know, all you have to do is think about how do I get here? Great, and then get there and then Okay, how do I get here? Awesome. How do I get here? How do I get here, here, here, here, here, here. And then before you know it, eventually you get there and there's all sorts of roadblocks along the way, whether it's your healing journey or whatever. But it's really important to think about what's my next step? What's going to get me one step closer to reaching this destination for me, what's going to get me one step closer to to helping the world know this information. Okay, I'll reach out to Forrest at The Mighty and we'll put a training on. You know, we had a couple hundred of you sign up for this. That's awesome! Okay, so you know, that's going to help me get one step closer to, you know, reaching a billion people. Or 7 billion people.
What's gonna get me that next step, next step, next step, next step, right? And so like, eventually once I get here, andit's like okay, I've reached everyone on the planet who speaks English, what's going to help me get that next step? Okay, I have to learn learn a new language, or I have to get someone to translate this information, and do it all over again in another language, okay? And so, like, I'm not intimidated by that goa.l I'm not embarrassed by that goal. It's something that lights me up! Yes, I want... I know there are 7 billion people on this planet; and you know, I don't have a camel. I can't reach a lot of people on this planet. I don't have a plane, right? I don't speak any other language except for English and sometimes gibberish. Okay, and so I know that's really far off, but I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about what's the next step; and right now, the next step is serving you in the highest way possible. It's giving you this information so you can apply it: so you can have energy, so you can help yourself, and so you can help someone else. Or you can do what you want, and do what lights you up.
So just a quick little model there and it's so important. So that's how we build hope when all is lost, is to start thinking about "What do I want? What do I want to do? What lights me up?" So I hope that you kind of enjoy that. Again, everything here is action based so: action, action, action, action, action! You have to take actions on these things to get them to work; and like I said, I'm not telling you anything that I haven't personally applied. I would never, ever, ever give you advice that I haven't personally taken. So really important, and you know... obviously none of you knew me at rock bottom, but all this information and everything I teach is, you know, a piece of what got me from absolute rock bottom, alone, addict... like, laying on my kitchen floor just like completely hopeless--to like excited every single day! Like I jump out of bed some mornings like... yes, I'm still human and I'm still tired some mornings, but like... and you know, yes I still want to watch movies some days, but you know there... I jump out of bed most days, and I wasn't that person before. And I reach out to people to... like, how can I help more people? How can I do more? And I work... like I work a ton. I work more than like 11 hours every day because it lights me up! Because I enjoy it! Because it is a passion of mine. So really, really important: how to build hope when all seems lost, is find that peace--find that little fire inside of you--because it can push you through the hardest of times.
So that is it for that, and now we will transition to how to bring joy back to your life. So give me a second here to transition. Right. I hope you all are enjoying this training! It's a little bit of a different style than we normally do, right? Like I said, normally we do the the PowerPoint kind of style, but it can be important--especially we're talking about depression--to, to have someone live and have someone be able to show the energy. And so you can watch me make a fool of myself, and dance, and all these things. So the next thing we're talking about is how to bring joy back into your life. So this is the fourth of five things that we're gonna be talking about today. And you know, like I said before, you all can keep asking questions in that question box that says Send Email. They get sent straight to me. I'm the only one who's going to see them at this point. And you know, if you have questions on anything that we're talking about, you know, hopefully I'll answer them by the end of the training. And I won't get to do a Q&A today. But hopefully I'll be able to get to all of them at some point this week. So if you have questions, you know, reach out in that in that box there and hopefullyI'll get to email you back personally, later in the week. So don't feel shy about asking questions. I can't see them at this moment. Usually I have them pulled up side-by-side on my screen when I do trainings; but this is a little bit different, obviously.
So, how to bring joy back into your life. Number one, make a list. So. Wow, Kay, you really like lists! I really like lists. Number one make a list of all the things that currently bring you joy or use to bring you joy. And this is a favorite of mine, because just making this list - and sometimes this is something that I do. I don't know I feel like we're all human, right If I'm feeling like just (especially in the winter here; we have some pretty harsh winters) just like, I feel sad and I just feel like I want to stay inside and not do anything. I make a list of all the things that bring me joy, right and so snowball fights. Building snowmen. Having having hot soup on a cold day. Watching movies with my boyfriend. You know, snowshoeing with my dog Shiloh. I don't know whether all snow related... swimming. I love going to the beach. I love just, just feeling my feet in the sand and feeling the power of the ocean and the salt air. I love teaching. I love sailing. I love playing music. I'm a musician. I love, you know playing gigs. I play out locally sometimes and, you know, I just I sing and I play the guitar at some coffee shops, some restaurants... and those are things that bring me joy. Or things that used to bring me joy, right? Like, I don't have a ton of snowball fights these days but you know, it just... it makes me happy. It starts to make me smile. So make a list of things that bring you joy or used to bring you joy. And that can be really important; and just making that list alone...
You know, something that can be important is visualizing and really feeling you know, what does it... What does that feel like? You know, because what's the last time you felt that thing? When's the last time you had a snowball fight, and you just like had so much fun, and you just like allowed yourself to have so much fun? When was the last time that that happened? And you know, I can't remember last time I had a snowball fight with all of my friends. You know sometimes Shiloh and and Brad (my boyfriend) and I have a snowball fight... my dog, my boyfriend, and I,,, and it's it's not quite as enthused as it was when we were kids. But you know, I think about that and I think about that was really fun, and that really did bring me a lot of joy. And it brings me joy just to think about it. So that can be really powerful. Or making a list of things that currently bring you joy, just to remind you: oh hey, like I'll go swimming, you know like tomorrow. You know, I forgot how much going sailing brings me joy. Tomorrow I'm gonna, I'm gonna go sailing. I'm gonna make sure I get out and I go sailing. and I'm just able to enjoy it. and relax and feel the joy that it brings me. Because I didn't... I kind of forgot and it's you know, life gets busy and things get a little wild sometimes. So that can be a really really helpful exercise.
And number two (you hear me talk about this a lot) is: get outside! Get outside. We are animals at our core; at our root; at our, you know, origination-original thing, you know, we're animals. You know, if we come from monkeys, monkeys are animals; and so you know we used to live in caves, and like run and like hunt buffalo, and be like big and strong and tough and like... Now a lot of times we're like inside, and it's like the perfect temperature--it's like it's like 70 degrees always-- and you know we have these, these constant lights on us. And you know we're always inside and on our phones, and getting all this like instant gratification, which can be challenging. And so it's really important to get outside and to... you know whether it's weather-dependent or not, you know, to get outside and just be outside can be really, really important to bring that joy back into you. Because like I said, it's like a natural kind of core thing. And I'm not telling you you have to go hike Everest or go for you know, a super long walk in the woods or you know, dive into a lake or anything like that. Simply stepping outside and allowing yourself to just enjoy it for a second. and feel; it and whether love going outside in the rain. And just like, it's just pouring it's like so dramatic. And I love being outside in the rain. I think it's just so fun. It gives me so much energy. And I know that sounds a little wacko, but it really does feed my energy. And it brings me a lot of joy; just, like, reminds me that like hey, I'm alive even when it's like hot right? It's July here now, even when it's like super hot and it's so muggy out. It's like Wow, this is a really powerful force, and it feels good to be in the sun. So get outside, and that can bring a lot of joy back into your life.
And then number three (and you'll you'll hear me talk about this a lot through trainings and through... if we work together one on one). Hope you can see that green there on the board. It says 'positivity' and surround yourself with positivity. Surround yourself with positive inputs. This is something... I mean you can see... I think you can see hopefully the book shelves behind me. And this is something that is so important in our life, no matter if we're depressed or not. There is an epidemic of negativity and it infects the whole world right? You walk into anywhere: a hair salon, a gas station, a pizza parlor. And, you know, you walk in, and what do you see? I want you to think about like if you walked into a pizza parlor right now; if you walked into a dentist office right now--and those seem, like, pretty opposite, right?--if you walk into a pizza parlor, a dentist's office or a hair salon or a gas station, what do those things have in common? I want you to think about that for a second, to see if anyone can kind of guess what I'm about to say.
So I hope... I hope some of you guessed, but the thing that they have in common is televisions. Okay, so you walk into a pizza parlor. There's not one, there's not two, there's not three... there's like six televisions. And they're all on. And they're all on the news channels, right? And now, we know news is negative. And the reason that news is negative is because we are wired to look for negativity. So again, back to that primitive, like get outside kind of thing. We are wired to look for negativity because we don't want to get eaten, you know, we don't want to get hurt, we don't want to get hurt by a buffalo or, you know, a lion or a monkey or anything like that, we, we need to protect ourselves. And so we're constantly seeking negativity. And that's what sells, quite honestly. And so when you hear something negative on the news, you turn, you look, you watch. You know, they're channels that are meant to make you watch. And negativity always wins. And negativity actually weighs seven times as much as a positive. So negative versus a positive. So, seven versus one. And you think about that and it's like, what that means is, you know, you need seven times as many positive inputs, just to just to level out! So like, let's say I, you know, I got cut off. I was driving and I was getting off an exit, and somebody cut me off. And I was like, aaargh, you know, I was really, I was really upset and it was a really negative event. Let's say that weighs at a seven. So that weighs seven times as much as a positive. And then you know, I get to the office and Brad hands me a flower, like super sweet! lHe like, picks me a flower and he's like "Hi, honey, like great to see you." And I was like, "Oh, that's great."
And that's a positive and... but that only weighs in at a one. So what that means is like at the end of the night, you know, when I go hang out with my friends, whatever it is I do at the end of the night. What am I going to talk about? Oh, this, this stupid outtastate driver, you know, they cut me off, and I can't believe the tourists here, and all those things. Now I'm not gonna think about the flower that Brad gave me, even though it was so sweet. I would need him to hand me another six flowers for it to even level out. Or seven flowers for me to be like, ah, Brad gave me a flower tonight, and it was the best thing.
And so--I know it's kind of silly, but to put numbers on it can be helpful for some people--you know, we live in a world of negativity: negative news, negative people, negative things. People are always complaining. People are always. People are always negative! Social media is negative; people are always comparing themselves to others. And so what that means is, since we live in a negative world, we need to intentionally input positivity at every moment, every single thing that we can do. We have to input positivity, any chance we get. And so this is something I still do, because we live in a negative world, a very negative world. Gossip is negative, where you see your friends, it's like, oh, this person, you know, cheated on this person. And oh, did you see this TV show? And oh, did you hear about this really bad event, and you know, all these negative things. And we need to be careful when we start to become aware of that. And if we want to bring joy back into our life, we have to raise this positive number.
So what I have behind me here are all sorts of books, and they're all positive books. They're all from inspiring people. You know, there's Shanaya Twain, Dolly Parton, Billy Graham, Amy Poehler, Jennifer Hudson. You know, Ellen DeGeneres, Martha Stewart; they're all people that you know, have done really cool things. That live in this world, and achieve, and give... and give back to people and serve people. And so I'm constantly inputting my myself my mind with positivity. And you know, the way I like to explain positivity and negativity is like, your brain is like a glass of water. And because of all the negativity, it's like a glass of really muddy water, like you definitely wouldn't want to drink that water. And what we need to do is, we need to pour clean water--positive water--in order to flush all of that bad water out. And so you're going to pour some positive water in and the murky water is going to start to kind of pour out and pour over the sides. But it's still gonna be murky, it's gonna be murky for a while until you pour enough clean water in that it flushes all of the bad water out.
So that's just another way of kind of thinking about it. But it's so important to input positivity. So, listen to positive podcasts, listen to... instead of listening to the radio and those in between like radio shows (oh man those those are so negative!), listen to a CD. You know, still listen to music. Music is great. And music can be positive. Music can be negative. But the in between--the gossip, the the meanness to people in between the songs--can weigh really, really negatively. So you have to input positivity on purpose. So again, at every turn, you need to be doing this like ruthlessly. And like I said, this is something that I still do.
Something else that we do is we write gratitudes every day, or we do something called a good things list. So, every day, at the end of the da,y we write three good things--what were three good things from today--and we keep that mindset positive. Because it's... because it's that important. So that's how to bring joy back into your life. I hope you all like that. I hope that makes sense. Super, super, super important.
And now we're talking about the resistance of depression. So give me one second to transition here. We'll talk about the resistance of depression. This is kind of our last and final topic that we're going to be talking about right now. So give me one second to catch my breath--I talk really fast--I love doing what I'm doing! I'm excited to be here with you all, and I appreciate, you know, every single one of you being here and listening. And again, everything is action based. Action, Action, Action, Action, Action. And something else Ilike to say about action: action breeds motivation. So you know, when we're talking about creating that energy, you know, action--which is force, force is action--breeds motivation. Action - force - creates energy. So, if you take action on these things, you're going to start to build this momentum. Like I said, it's like a boulder. It's like pushing a boulder. It's really, really hard at first, and then it starts to - you know, you literally get the ball rolling, if you've ever heard that term. You get the ball rolling, and it starts to kind of just do the work for you. So super, super important.
Okay, so now wer're talking about the resistance of depression. So I'll move this down, but I'll keep it up. Because it's super important. So the resistance of depression, how to face the resistance of depression. So first, like, let's just talk about for a second, what is the resistance of depression? Now, if you've, if you're currently feeling depressed, or you've ever kind of felt depressed, the resistance of depression is, is a term that we like to use to describe that kind of feeling that like, you just feel like anything is like the biggest chore, and you need to have so much energy to do it. And it just, it's that thing that like, you know, you're like, I want to get out of bed, and it just like, kind of just like hovers over you and like keeps you in bed, and it just kind of consumes you, and constricts you from doing the things that you want to do.
Now how we're going to face the resistance of depression. I won't write in green, I don't think that shows up very well for you all. So the resistance of depression. Number one, is that consistency over time. I'm going to use an analogy in just a minute talking about a dragon. And I'm going to use a dragon to describe the resistance of depression. But I want to talk about consistency. Again, because it's it's so important. It is literally that important that if we take consistent steps on any...this is on anything in your life, whatever it is, you have to put the time in, in order to see the results. If you don't put the time in, if you don't put the consistency in, you'll never get there.
And this right here, if you can see where my fingers are, right here, you know, you put time in for a while. But right here, right before you get to the good results, this is where most people quit. And that's why it's so important to be consistently and constantly taking steps forward. Really, really important to apply that compound effect-- that results-over-time graph--to this journey; into every journey, especially if you have PTSD. And you're going to hear me talk about that a lot in other trainings. Really, really important. So consistent steps.
Number two, and this is a huge one for me. If you know anything about me, you know I love celebrating little wins. Focus on little wins. Getting out of bed is a huge win! Itisn't even a little one. It's a huge win. But we would consider them as you know, as a society, as a culture, a little win. But you know, I had a client when she came to me when we first started working together, she was in bed seven out of seven days. You know, people had told her, "You're treatment resistant. This is your life now; you've tried everything; you've exhausted all your options. This is your life." And when she came to me she was in bed seven out of seven days, pretty much all day, and after a few months... I think was just like a month and a half, two months of working together; you know, we got on the phone for a coaching call. And she was like I'm... max, I'm in bed two days a week. And you know, she didn't she didn't really give her herself enough credit for it, and I was like "ah, that's amazing! Like, hold on a second, let's back up!" You know, cuz she said, Well, yeah, but I'm still in bed two days a week."
But, you know, you think about it: you just went from seven down two! So now you have five days a week, of a full week, five days a week where you're getting out of bed; that's amazing! And you know, she was considering it a little win--and a lot of the rest of the world would, too,especially if you're not in this niche. If you don't quite understand this niche, that's huge. So if you're in bed seven out of seven days and, you know, in a few weeks after doing this, you're in bed six out of seven days, that's huge! Focus on that little win! Take that and let it feed you, and let it inspire you and say, "Okay, I have made a little step." And again, this graph again... like, what you see is okay, like you're all this time not really any results. Okay, little win, little bit of results. Okay, a little bit more because you're still taking that that consistency. You're still taking action a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more until you get there and you're off the chart. So focus on those little wins.
Now we're gonna talk about face it head on. Now, I told you I would use a dragon analogy, and I'm going to, and I'm going to explain these last two points in just a second here. So, the resistance of depression (and I like to think of depression as this resistance) is like a dragon. And it's your job to slay the dragon. And basically what we want to do is, when we're really depressed, when we're really struggling this dragon seems like this big huge, giant, giant thing to defeat. And it is at first, but it's same kind of analogy just a different way of saying it as that boulder.
You know, when we face that dragon head on; when we face that resistance head on the moment we feel that resistance, that's the time to slay it. And it can be challenging at first--and again, we're going to need to apply that force to slay that dragon. But you know if we use our purpose, if we stay focused on our little wins, if we keep doing it ,consistently, it's going to get easier and easier.
And so at first it's this big, giant dragon but the moment you feel it, the moment you feel that resistance, the moment you say, "I want to get out of bed," you have like three seconds to slay that dragon before it feels like it just consumes you. Because that dragon feeds on time. Fear feeds on time so when we feel that dragon, we have such a short window for us to slay it. And over time instead of... like right now, it's just like big, giant big dragon, but we keep slaying it! We keep working consistently. We focus on our little wins. We face it head on. You know, we try not to run from it. You know, you're human; don't beat yourself up. You're gonna have bad days, but we use our purpose and we face it and we slay it, and all of a sudden instead of this big, giant dragon it becomes this little tiny little... kind of like cute dragon. And so then it gets easier to say no to, instead of this big fierce monster. You know, when you feel it in the future, again down the road, again this this consistency over time; when you're at this point, if you ever feel that dragon again it's like, "No man, like this is my life." and basically what you have to do, you know, is take your life back from this dragon.
And again, it's like it's... it's at every moment when it's like, you know, "You're like okay. I want to get in the shower." And you have... again, you have like three seconds. You have like a three second window before that dragon is like, "No, you don't! You want to stay in bed," and doesn't let you do anything. So, you know, you have to like face it at that moment. Face it head on. Say, likem "Absolutely not!" Work on it, work on the force, work on all of these things. And that dragon is going to shrink into this cute little baby dragon that you can keep in your pocket, and then you can just take care of it, okay? And so it will no longer kind of rule your life. So again, that dragon--this resistance--feeds on time, so it's really important that we work consistently. Focus on our little wins. Showing up here today is a little win... it's a huge win! You're getting information. You're figuring out, okay, what do I do about this? You have this... now, this "How can I..." attitude, and this is so important along your recovery journey.
Again whether it's "just" depression, whether it's PTSD, whatever it is, how can I... How can I slay this dragon? How can I defeat this? How can I work on on getting my house clean? How can I achieve my goal of being an astronaut? How can I, How can I, How can I... and so it's really, really important. So, face the resistance of depression by facing it head on, saying like, "Heck no, this is my life!" Taking the power back, taking the control back and not letting it feed on time. And always along this journey, like I said, you want to be thinking of how can I do this? How can I do this?
So I hope all of this served you today. I know this was a lot of information I threw at you, but I do hope you enjoyed it. I hope you took some notes on it. And I hope to send you kind of a replay but if you apply this information, I promise you things will turn around a lot faster than you even think, even can imagine, even realize. Some people you know, they watch the masterclass and they apply the information, and they like, they see results in weeks if not like days, sometimes! So it's really that powerful. It's not just worked for me; it's worked for people all around the world. So really, really take this. Really implement it into your life, and again that consistency over time is a really important thing.
We'll just recap here. The energy, right, so the the capacity or power to do work such as move an object by the application of force. So now remember, you made yourself show up here today, so you can do it, okay? So it's really, really important, you know, to create that energy; to bring that energy to the world and to face the resistance==to slay that dragon head on--because you know it's not so scary after a while. And like I said, that dragon is the same kind of analogy as as the boulder; so once you get it moving everything it's a lot easier. I promise you that.
So if you have any questions you know, again, I hope you enjoyed the training. Let me know how you liked it. And you know, let me know if you want any different trainings in the future. I know we did the anxiety training pretty recently. If you want... you know, let me know kind of what trainings you want: if you want a training on sleep, whatever it is. Also, I'll tell you all kind of some additional resources right now.
And you know, let me know in that chat box and that send email box what you liked what you didn't like; what made you laugh, what made you smile. And you know, if you have any questions, you can reach out to me my email email@example.com. So that's my emai:firstname.lastname@example.org. Reach out anytime if you have a question, comment, concern, whenever it is, you know, reach out to me.I do my best to get back to you all as quickly as possible. I love putting on these trainings for you all. So like I said, you know, ask me questions, send them in the send email box; I'm the only one that sees them. So no one else on the call today on the on the webinar today or whatever you want to call this platform will see them so it's just me that sees them. So no on else on the call today, on the webinar today, or whatever you want to call this platform, we'll see them. So it's just me that sees them. So they're completely private. So don't feel like you have to hold back. Don't be shy.
And then some other resources. If you're looking for that kind of positivity. I can't even spell PTSD! Okay, so if you're looking for that positivity, PTSD TV. So my partner and I do a podcast, some of you might already know about this. It's called PTSD TV, we keep it positive, we keep it light. We give you action items. So it's like, it's like a real, real mini-training. And we do them Monday through Friday. So Monday is motivation Tuesdays are PTSD book club, Wednesdays are PTSD recovery, workshop, Thursday is PTSD and relationships, and Friday is a Q&A. So that's a great resource if you're looking for positivity.
But other than that, that's kind of all I have for you all today. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for for watching, thank you for, you know, allowing me to do what I do. And it's really people like you who inspire me to do what I do. So you know, I hope this information serves you. I hope you apply it because if you apply it, you're going to see some amazing, amazing changes in your life, and in your physical and mental world. So really, truly take it to heart. And you know, I love you, I believe in you. I'm here for you. If you have any questions, absolutely reach out and you know, let me know, let Forrest know how you liked the training. You know what, what you want to see in the future. Forrest and I love kind of connecting and putting these things on just for you all. So, you know, let us know what you want to see. And we'll make that happen for you. So I hope to see you all very, very soon.
I want to thank The Mighty for having me, of course! Thanks, Forrest, for having me. And most importantly, thank you for having me, and allowing me into your life and into your world here today. So again, I hope this serves you. Take it to heart, apply it. If you have any questions, reach out, I love you, I believe in you. And I will I'll talk to you when I talk to you. So that's it. And I'm gonna see if someone will pop the camera off for us in just a second. And that will be it. So I'll look forward to your questions. And I'll talk to you all this week. If you reach out with a question. I'll make sure I get to it this week. All right. So happy July. And that's it. All right. Bye bye.