PTSD Self-Care Tips | Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

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PTSD Self-Care Tips | Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Do you spend your time and energy caring for everyone else, and only give yourself the crumbs - if that?

Most people with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) think they are worthless, unlovable, and just terrible human beings.

When this happens, it causes us to not take care of ourselves; and when we don't take care of ourselves, our life degrades until there's nothing left.

In this video we'll cover:

  • Tips on self care
  • How to start believing that you are worthy and worth love, compassion, and care
  • Why self-care is so important

The truth is that you are a good person that's just been hurt, and it takes self-care and compassion to heal and get out of that place.

I hope this helped, and if it did you can subscribe for updates on more videos like this!

Check it out, and let me know what you think in the comments!

To your recovery,
Kayleen & the team at OvercomingPTSD.com

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Transcript

0:01  Hey, everybody! Brad here, and today I want to talk to you about one of the most important things when it comes to PTSD recovery. And that is self care. Now, I talk to people every day who have PTSD, and one of the most, the biggest problems I see is that they don't think that they're worthy. They don't think that they're loveable. And they don't believe that they can fully recover from PTSD. So they get stuck in this really, really dark place where they're, they're not taking care of themselves, because they don't believe that they're worthy of that care. And they don't even think, even if they took care of themselves, that they could get better. So they get stuck in this dark place, and just spin in there.

0:38  And sometimes people unfortunately, stay in there for years, decades, sometimes their entire life. And if you don't learn how to break out of that, if you don't learn how to love yourself--how to, you know, believe that you're worthy of all these things, that you you're deserving of good things--then it's going to be very hard to break out of that cycle. So my hope for this video is that it helps you break out of that cycle. If you're in that cycle, or if you know somebody who's in that cycle, I hope that this video will help you.

1:03  And I want to say that you do matter. You are worthy. We need you; this world needs you. I felt that. I felt that pain of you know, just thinking I was this awful person, that I was worthless that nobody would ever love me. Who would love somebody like me? I was wrong. I was... I was so freaking wrong. But it took somebody in my life who just opened my eyes to to the real me and to who I really was at my core. And that's what I want to help you do is realize who you are at your core, as an amazing freaking... amazing freakin human being. And you are amazing. And I know you've... so many times we get caught up, in these times, just focusing on all the negative things that we've done in our life, all the negative things about ourselves, and we're just overall crappy humans, crappy friends to ourselves, right?

2:02  For a moment, I want you to just explore this with me, I want you to think back to some good things that you've done; some positive intentions that you've had. What are some of those things? You know, what are the moments where you care about somebody, you love  somebody, you want to help somebody who's in need, what are some of those moments? In those kinds of moments, in those moments of joy and happiness and giving and love, that's who you really are. And that person, that piece of you is the true you. And that person is so deserving. And I want you to focus on that. And I want you to highlight that and I want you to freaking magnify that as big as you possibly can. And focus on that, with me, at least just for the rest of this video.

2:51  Just keep your focus on that good part of you. And I know that it's there. If you're telling me if you're telling me that you cannot think of one good thing about yourself, then you're not trying. I want you to block out the negative just for a second--just for a second. I want you to block it out, and focus on some good things about yourself. And trust me, you will find a lot. You just need to find one. You just need to find one and then more will come. So you are worthy. You're worth it. You are lovable, you are needed on this planet. And you are deserving. You're so freakin deserving! Out of all the people on this planet, you are so deserving of love and goodness. Right?

3:30  What have you been through? What have you been through in your life? How much pain Have you been through? Doesn't that person deserve some love, some peace? I mean, like, if you saw somebody else who went through the same thing that you went through, would you treat them the same way that you treat yourself? Would you tell them that they're not worthy and that nobody will ever love them? That they're not good enough; that they don't deserve the good things that life has to offer? Would you say those things? You wouldn't. No one would.

4:07  You would tell them that they're, they're worthy, right? That they are lovable, that they will find love, that there are good things in his life, that there are good pieces inside of them. And the same goes for you, you just have to shift that perspective on yourself. Because there are so many good things inside of you. And that's what I want you to focus on are those good things.

4:25  Now, I want to shift a little bit into actually self care: how to actually take care of yourself. Now the first step, like I was just saying, is starting to believe, starting to focus on those good things inside yourself and believe that you are worthy, that you are lovable, that you do deserve all of these things. Because if you don't fully believe that or if you don't even at least open the door to "Hey, maybe I'm not this terrible person," then this self care thing won't be very... won't last very long. I'll say that.

4:56  Now a lot of people think... another obstacle that people face when it comes to self care is that they think self care is selfish, right? They're taught to give and give and give and give. And if you take anything for yourself, that's a bad thing. Do not do that, right. So, a lot of us have learned that caring for ourselves is a bad thing, right? So we actually feel guilt. You feel guilt when we take care of yourself. But I want to, I want you to shift that, because it's actually the exact opposite.

5:24  It is not selfish to take care of yourself. It is selfless, to take care of yourself. And I'll tell you why. Because even if you wanted to help the world, which I believe everybody does, I believe deep down, everybody wants to help people, I believe everybody is a good person. If you if you are that person, which I believe you are, you cannot help a single soul on this planet, if you are not taking care of yourself, because you cannot pour from an empty cup.

5:51  That is something we say all the time, you cannot be the best parent, you can not be the best child you cannot, you know, work on your career, you can't have good health, you can't give back to your community, you can't help somebody else in nees if you are pouring from an empty cup. If you've just been drawn down to zero, if you have PTSD and you're not taking care of yourself, you're not gonna be able to help anybody. And the key, the key to all of that, to be able to help people; to be able to give and give, and give and give, is not ignoring yourself. But it's focusing on yourself, and caring about yourself, and healing yourself, and working on yourself.

6:27  Because if you're not working on yourself, you're gonna be pouring from that... you're gonna be trying to pull from this empty cup, and then you're gonna feel guilty because you're like, I can't even help people. How good am I, I'm not even good. I'm not even a good person, because I can't help anybody, I can't even help myself. So if you don't help yourself, you're gonna be sucked down into that dark, dark place. And I do not want you guys to be down there. And that's because so many of us have been lied to; have like, bought this belief that it's selfish, to take care of ourselves. And it's not. It's not at all it is selfless. This is one of the most selfless things you can do to build yourself up to this point where your your glass is literally overflowing, and then you just get to freaking unleash all of that love and care onto the world.

7:14  Because if you don't care and love yourself, you're not gonna be able to care and love for other people. And I'm not sure if I said this before. But you know, if a lot of the times what happens is our inner world is projected outside. So if we feel hate and judgment towards ourselves, that is what we will give to other people. So if we really want the best, not only for ourselves, but for other people in the entire world, our family, you know, our community, our friends, people around us, we need to start taking care of ourselves, we need to start loving ourselves, because the way that we treat ourselves is the way that we treat other people, and it starts with yourself. It's not selfish, it is selfless, to care about yourself, and you cannot pour from an empty cup.

7:59  Now, the last thing I want to say, is I have a few things on how we actually implement this into your life. How to actually bring self care into your life. And if you look on blogs, if you look on other YouTube videos, people will give you a list of eight things for self care, or whatever, right? Like, go take a walk, go, go for a hot tub, whatever. Now those are all good and great. I'm not saying those things are bad. But really at the core of that, you need to figure out what you want. You need to figure out what you want to do. And what makes you feel good. Because I can tell you maybe a hot tub feels great to me. But maybe it doesn't feel great to you. So at the end of the day, you need to start asking yourself on a daily basis--and it's a good thing to ask yourself this in the morning, or the night before--"What do I want out of this day? What do I want? What do I want in this moment?

8:51  Down to the tiniest of moments, when someone asks you what do you want to eat tonight? Ask yourself, What do I want? Don't say I don't know, or whatever you want, or, you know, whatever is easiest. Make a decision. Ask yourself, because we've been training ourselves just to ignore what we want, right? We're like, I don't care or, you know, let's just do whatever or you know,, I'll just do whatever you want to do. Right? And you don't actually think. You don't even allow yourself to think or ask yourself, "What do I want?"

9:19  So you need to ask yourself, "What do I want," and then act on that. And that's an ongoing process. You want to constantly ask yourself, What do I want? What will make me feel good right now, and then do it. And then trust that. And also, I want you to know that, you know, you are not responsible for other people, you are not responsible for anybody else but yourself. Right?

9:43  Because a lot of times in this moment it will be like, you know, sometimes we're surrounded with people, we're just giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, and then everybody just expects you to be this person, or to give, or to just take care of everybody. Right. And in those cases, if you're one of those people who takes care of other people but not yourself, you have to realize that it's not your responsibility to take care of other people. And actually, you cannot control other people. And that they are responsible for their life and you're responsible for your life.

10:10  And that is one of the  that's one of the healthiest things that you can do is help people realize that they are responsible for their lives, and then you are responsible for your life. Because when you focus on you, this is what I was saying before, when you focus on you, you are going to be your best self, you're going to fill your cup, so it's overflowing, so you can then give to all these people, right? So it's not about giving, giving, giving, until you have nothing left. That's the thing that gets you down in the first place.

10:36  It's about giving to yourself, making yourself whole, healing, getting better. And then allowing yourself to feel good and overflow, so you can give to the world, right? So you are only responsible for yourself. And again, I believe everybody's a good person. So when people are responsible for themselves, that will naturally come out and help the world. So that's the first thing you want. You want to ask yourself, What do I want? What will make me feel good right now? And then do it and then do it and then stick to your guns.

11:04  And then the second thing? So the first one is, What do I want? And the second one is, What don't I want to do, right? So learn how to say no. We we like, we just allow ourselves to fall into these patterns or do things that other people want us to do but we don't really want to do; and we don't want to say no, because we feel guilty. But in those moments, that's when we're not really believing ourselves, we don't think we're worthy of you know, saying no. We don't, we don't think our ideas are good enough. We don't think we're worthy of, you know, doing what we want to do over what somebody else wants to do. Right? So in those moments, you have to ask yourself, do I really want to do this.

11:43  And if you don't want to do it, say no. People, people might get upset, right, but you are worth it. People might push back, you know, sometimes that happens. It's like, maybe you're in a relationship like again, that you're giving, giving, giving; that you always say yes, that you always go with the flow, that you never express what you want. And you just give and just... we always do what you want to do. And it doesn't matter what I think it; doesn't matter what I feel, doesn't matter what I want to do. My feelings don't matter. My judgments don't matter, my desires don't matter, nothing that I want matters, right? Only what you want matters.

12:15  And sometimes when you're in that position, that person is so used to doing everything... you doing everything for them and what they want to do, that it can be a little frustrating for them. But I want you guys to expect that, and know that that's kind of normal, that it's a change of habit. And sometimes change is uncomfortable for people. That doesn't mean that people are gonna get mad or you or anything. But in those moments, you have to stick to your guns, because you have to know that you're worth it. And also, you're doing a great thing for them, because now they are going to be focusing on themselves and making themselves whole, right. Because a lot of times we pick up the slack, we take the responsibility for other people's lives, and basically prevent them from the biggest growing opportunities of their entire life. Right.

12:55  So it's like if we focus on solving this other person's problem, then they do not have to solve the problem themselves, right. So we're then robbing them ofthe experience of getting better, of growing. So then they stagnate. And then they believe, you know, I need this other person in my life to you know, make me feel better.

13:11  So it's all about just being responsible for ourselves. If you are responsible for yourself, other people are responsible for themselves and we stop focusing on all these other things that we can't control and we start focusing on the one thing we can control, which is ourselves, we will start to feel so much better, you will start to heal your PTSD. And everything in your entire life will get better because everything stems from you. Everything in life stems from you, the quality of your relationship, the quality of your health, the quality of your finances, your job, your career, your dream, your happiness, all those things stem from you. And if you're not good, if you're not solid, then none of those things are going to be good. That's just the way it is.

13:47  And that is why self care is so freaking important. And why you matter so much is because this whle world would be lifted up if we all cared about ourselves. If we all took ourselves seriously, if we did what we want to do, we said no to the things we don't want to do. And you know, we just feel good about ourselves. And I promise you, if you start doing those things, if you start doing things that you want to do, start making up those... making up your decisions, and saying no to things you don't want to do, you're going to be so much more confident with yourself.

13:49  You're gonna be so much... you're gonna feel so much better. You're gonna be like, "I am worthy!" You're gonna start having those thoughts instead of being like, I'm worthless. Because when you start, you know, taking focus off of other people and all these other things you can't control and you start focusing on yourself, you start to improve, and then you're like, wow, this does work, and wow, I can help other people. And wow, I am a really great person, because you start seeing those changes in yourself.

14:40  But it all starts with focusing on you. And if you're not focusing on you, you will not get better. You need to stop focusing on all these other people start focusing that energy on you. Again, it's not selfish, it's selfless, because you are a good person. I'm a good person. I believe everybody's a good person at their core. It's just that we do not allow ourselves to heal and get better and move past the things that have hurt us in the past.

15:01  And once we get past those things we... our true self shines and we are the most... we're the most amazing people in the world. Honestly. And I truly truly believe that.

15:13  So I hope that this video has helped you. If you've enjoyed this, you know, make sure to give me a little thumbs up on the like and hit that subscribe button for future videos. I do a video like this every week and my girlfriend Kayleen does one once a week as well.

15:26  I hope you enjoyed this I hope this, you know, helps you bring more love and acceptance and worthiness to you because you are so freaking worthy! So I hope you enjoyed this. Please like and I will see you in the next video.

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