Have you ever wondered what life without PTSD would be like?
How things would be different for you if you could sleep through the night?
The love you and your partner would share without the lash outs and screaming matches?
When I still had PTSD I would think about things like this a lot... and I would always curse my PTSD for now allowing me to have the things I wanted...
All I wanted was a chance at the life I watched so many other "normal people" live... have you ever wanted that?
If you've ever felt this way, I have some really good news for you...My partner Brad and I just re-launched our podcast and that's *exactly* what we cover in this first episode.
We brought the podcast back because the truth is... there's a lot of REALLY bad advice out there.
You've probably come across it already.
- this is your "new normal"
- you can't go back to who you were before
- the only way to make things better is to learn how to cope
- and so on...
The heartbreaking truth is, this false information is costing people their lives.
Brad and I do not want this to happen to you too... and that's why we brought the podcast back... so you don't have to lose everything because of bad advice.
Thanks for joining us for our first episode back!
Please, join us every Monday for new content and renewed hope!
The road to healing can be a lonely one, but it doesn't have to be. We're here with you and for you.
To your recovery,
Kayleen (& Brad & Shiloh)
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Subscribe to our YouTube channel here
Struggling with past trauma and need help?
Register for our free and helpful recovery training by clicking here
Kayleen Wright 0:00
You just had a little voice in your head that said, not for me though. Okay? No, it first sure is possible for you. And that's what we're here to help you do. Hey everyone, Kayleen here and welcome to the overcoming PTSD podcast. We are so, so happy to be back here. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Kayleen. I'm a PTSD and c-PTSD recovery coach. I've successfully recovered from my own PTSD after 17 years. And now I help people all over the world make that same transformation and heal as well. And this lovely man to my right here is
Bradley Joseph Stanislaus Shipke.
That's his full full name, you get a little treat here today. But we are so happy to be here with you on this podcast. Been a little while since we've done a podcast. So we just want to say welcome back to you. Welcome back to us. And we are so so excited to be back here doing this content.
Kayleen Wright 0:47
So what Overcoming PTSD is all about is getting you healing results. Right. So if you're listening to this, you probably have PTSD or you have C-PTSD, you have some sort of pain or trauma in your past, or you have something that you're seeking to heal. You have you have growth that you're looking to make; you want changes in your life in some way, shape, or form. Or maybe you're here for a loved one listening.
Kayleen Wright 1:10
Either way, this is going to be a great podcast, because it's all focused on action. And it's focused on healing. And so before we even get into anything at all, I'm already going off the rails on my intro, right. But before we get into anything at all, what I just want you to know is healing is possible.
Kayleen Wright 1:25
Healing from PTSD from CPTSD, from whatever you've been through, from whatever you're going through is truly possible. And you can do it. It's possible for you, right? So if you just had a little voice in your head that said, not for me, though, okay? No, it first sure is possible for you. And that's what we're here to help you do. That's what we do every single day; that's what we get up every day and are passionate about doing.
Kayleen Wright 1:45
It is possible for you. We've done it. We're going to share a little bit about that story today, each of our stories, and then we're gonna turn the focus back on you. So I'm really, really excited for the podcast as a whole, we just renamed it-used to be called PTSD TV. But nonetheless, we're so so happy that you're here with us.
Yeah, and the journey of recovery can be lonely. So that is a huge reason why we wanted to do this podcast and why we wanted to bring it back. So like we stopped doing it a while ago, quite a while ago. And people kept saying, Hey, we love the podcast, I'm still listening to old episodes, I want more, I want more.
So we're going to be coming back. Every Monday, we're not going to be doing every single day like we did before, we're going to come back every single Monday record an episode for you guys, and stay consistent with this forever. So we're gonna come back to give you that guys that hope, that connection, that belief that it's possible. Because like Kayleen said, it is possible for you, and we're here for you every step of the way.
Kayleen Wright 2:39
And again, we're so so excited to be here, we're so privileged to be here, I'm so lucky that I get to be here sitting next to this amazing man, but also sitting you know, wherever you're sitting, we do really feel like we're there with you. And I want you to know we are there with you. And when we say we believe in you, when we say that you can do this, we are speaking directly to you, we truly do mean that from the very bottom of our hearts.
Kayleen Wright 3:01
So. So excited for this, we're going to be here Mondays, like Brad said, we're gonna be releasing new episodes, we're gonna cover a whole bunch of different things, different things each week, again, all related to your healing, your growth and your recovery, because healing is possible.
Kayleen Wright 3:14
And you should be making noticeable changes in your healing. You know, working towards full recovery working towards healing, you should be making noticeable changes in your healing week to week, but mostly month to month, you should be able to see the changes, and the changes come from taking action. So what you're going to notice typically, at the end of every episode, we're going to wrap up or in the middle of episodes, we're going to tell you what actions to take to get the most out of that specific piece of content, excuse me.
Kayleen Wright 3:45
And for those of you who don't know, we run a program, it's called Broken to Unbreakable. What it is, it's the roadmap to recovery. So what I've done, and we're going to talk about this in my story and how we even ended up here is, you know, taking every single step that I took to get from rock bottom to full recovery; and distilled it into what we call a roadmap of actions to follow, of content to listen to, so that people can either start at rock bottom or wherever they start and go from feeling Broken to Unbreakable, just by following that system and following those steps.
Kayleen Wright 4:16
So the content you're going to hear on this podcast is going to be you know, different versions of the content that we have within that program. But just all sorts of stuff because it's a much more relaxed format, which is really, really exciting. But I want you to get the most out of this podcast. And to do that what I want you to really do is make sure you're taking the time to listen, don't just have this on in the background; really, truly listen to what we're saying.
Kayleen Wright 4:38
Because PTSD is, you know.... healing your PTSD rather, is the most important thing in your life. And this should be the utmost priority in your life. Because it causes so many different problems. It's going to make your addictions much much worse, or it's going to cause addictions, it's going to cause you know relationship fights, which is something you'll hear us talk about a lot. It's going to potentially cause you to lose jobs, it's gonna affect your finances, your self-esteem, your sleep, there's so many things that this, this ailment--this whatever you want to call it--that PTSD touches and everything PTSD touches, truly does crumble right underneath it right. So making this your utmost priority is so, so important.
Kayleen Wright 5:18
And we really want you to make it that so we want you to listen up, we want you to take action on everything that we tell you to do. And we want you to show up most importantly, because you deserve it. Even if you don't think you do, you truly do deserve it. And like I said, we're so so happy to be here.
Yeah, most of all, we are here to help you get you the results that you're looking for in your recovery. So if you guys have any specific questions that you want us to cover on the podcast, what you can do is you can email support@overcoming ptsd.com That's our email address. And we will have your questions...we will get your questions and we will answer them live on the podcast for you guys. So we are here for you. We are here to answer your questions, and give you all the information that you specifically need. So if you are a listener, you have a question you want to hear from us directly exactly what Brad and Kay think about what you're going through, shoot us an email at support@overcoming ptsd.com. And we will get to you
Kayleen Wright 6:15
It is dot com?
Kayleen Wright 6:16
Okay, we just changed it. We just changed it. So it is dot com. That's excellent. Okay, yeah, definitely, definitely do that. Because we want to hear from you. This is for you. We've done our recovery. We've healed. We help people all around the world. This podcast is specific for you. So if you're an active listener, or maybe you're just brand new to the podcast, absolutely do what Brad said, because we can cover that. And we can talk directly to you. We're going to directly answer that question, which is excellent.
Kayleen Wright 6:41
So one thing we want to cover today, just in kind of our intro, and our welcome back, you know, we want to talk a little bit more about our background and our story, right? So my story specifically and Brad's story specifically, and how we ended up here. So for those of you who don't know, you know, a little bit about my story, and some of you might, some of you might not, I had c-PTSD and I suffered for over 17 years, with tremendous nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, hypervigilance; all of it, right? I call my PTSD, sometimes. very cinematic, right. So when you like, think of PTSD, when you maybe see in a movie, that definitely was kind of my experience.
Kayleen Wright 7:19
And you know, everyone experiences different things. Some people don't experience flashbacks, some people don't have sleep problems. There's a lot of different things that people experience when it comes to PTSD. So if you hear any similarities in my story, you know, that's great. And if you don't, that's okay, too. We're going to share a little bit about Brad's story too, and just really look for moments where you do see those similarities, because although we're very, very different and although people experience things differently, the journey to healing is, is quite the same, right?
Kayleen Wright 7:45
So the steps that need to be taken are truly the same whether you're in a specific situation where maybe you don't have flashbacks, maybe you don't have nightmares, but maybe you do have tremendous anxiety and struggle a lot with depression or dissociation, you know, you're gonna hear a lot of different elements, but just know that healing is possible for you. Recovery is possible. And the steps to get there are truly the same. So that's a really, really cool part of this journey, and of the journey to full recovery is you just kind of just follow the roadmap, you follow the steps, and and you get there, which is a beautiful thing. So Brad and I experienced very, very different things and experienced PTSD in very different ways; but still follow the same steps, follow the same roadmap and get to the same outcome, which is full recovery, right? Which is true healing, which is awesome.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Kayleen Wright 8:33
So my story kind of starts back... I like to sort of start my story a little bit at rock bottom. Typically, that's the place where you know, it's most painful. Maybe you've been to a rock bottom moment, maybe you're at a rock bottom moment right now. And if you are and you're listening to this: big, big kudos to you because you're trying; you're taking action; you're seeking help. And that's amazing. And that's not something to go unnoticed. So kudos to you for doing that.
Kayleen Wright 8:54
So my rock bottom moment, you know, I had just lost three jobs in three months... in under three months. I was having nightmares all night long, flashbacks all day. Couldn't sleep; massive anxiety. I was lashing out at Brad so, so bad, and truly the worst worst ways even my sweet dog Shilo, who's on the couch here was afraid of me because things were just so so bad! I was putting holes in walls, breaking dishes. There was so much anger, there's so much anxiety, there was just so so so much pain.
Kayleen Wright 9:22
I was abusing alcohol big time. And rock bottom moment was you know, Brad and I had one of our worst fights ever and just a screaming match; again, like holes in the walls, broken dishes. Now, you'll see me if you're watching on videos, you know, like smiling about it because it's been so long. And things are so different now but a really really tough experience and that night, my rock bottom night, was you know, we had that fight and then Brad walked out the door.l He could not take the pain anymore. He had gotten too hurt from all the nights that I woke up you know, having nightmares and him holding me and all the flashbacks you know, he kind of supported me through and all the lash outs and the anger at him for no reason, you know, the confusion on that caused him a lot, a lot of pain throughout the years. And he just kind of got to this breaking point where he couldn't do anything anymore. He didn't support me in really any way, shape or form, and he needed to take care of himself, which is something that, you know, wasn't happening happening previously.
Kayleen Wright 10:19
So he had to walk out that door. And that was my rock bottom moment where, you know, I was I was sitting on the kitchen floor drunk, sticky with alcohol, you know, my hands were all swelled up with all the, from all the holes in the walls and the broken dishes and the parts of myself that I had just physically beaten up, you know, my mind was totally a mess. And that was like, the moment I was laying there. And I was just like, PTSD effectively ruined absolutely everything in my life. Absolutely everything: my relationship, my finances, my health, my career, for lack of a better term at the time. And, you know, my family, I pushed my friends, my family away.
Kayleen Wright 10:58
And I was sitting there, and I was making that choice that maybe a lot of you have been faced with, maybe you're facing that choice right now. Like, do I give up everything? Like, do I end this pain by ending my life? Or do I keep trying and do I take another step and try to you know, get up and like, figure it out again tomorrow? You know, when I was I was making that choice, and I was weighing them pretty heavily. And of course, I chose the latter, which is, you know, I'm going to keep trying, but in that moment, you know, seeing how much I hurt Brad; seeing how much my PTSD, my pain, the things that that caused me to do hurt Brad was, was such a jarring moment.
Kayleen Wright 11:34
And a big kind of motivator for me in that moment was, you know, I can't, I can't let this hurt anyone else. And I have to undo the damage that I did to him, I have to like I had to because he's the love of my life. And I hurt him. You know, and I know, of course, it's not me, it's not my fault. It's my PTSD, all that but I hurt him. And I wanted to be the one that could help heal him and help fix him. And I didn't even think that was possible at the time. And then I also thought about, you know, like, if he just walked out that door, how many relationships where one or both people have PTSD, where right now the other person, the love of their life is walking out the door, I want to stop that.
Kayleen Wright 12:12
I want to heal people, I want to heal me, I want to, you know, mend broken hearts. So that we can have fulfilling, passionate relationships that are just full of love and support and have just all these amazing qualities with with none of the bad. Where there are no fights, there is no anxiety, it's just peace. It's just love. It's just trust. And I started to kind of paint that picture in my mind. And that was a huge, huge motivator, for me, kind of deciding, okay, you know what, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to go 100%, and I'm going to go 110%.
Kayleen Wright 12:43
I have a very type A personality, and I decided I'm going to do whatever it takes to heal, whatever it takes to heal my PTSD. And over the course of the next two years, I spent tens of thousands of dollars. And I spent even more time--I mean, maybe a hundred thousand hours probably--just like reading, and taking notes, and learning things from different fields related to PTSD--excuse me--related to the mind, related to healing, related to even business. Like I tried to look at PTSD from all angles. And then I tried a lot of different things. And this is the part of the story where I describe like, basically how I did this is I, I fell on my face. I just failed a bunch, over and over again, I failed hard, I failed fast, until I started to find things that worked and combine different things that worked.
Kayleen Wright 13:32
And eventually what I was able to do was create a process to eliminate my pain on demand. Okay, and so to kind of really test this new process, I went away to a friend's cabin in New Hampshire for about five days. And I put this process into practice and what I did is I focused on healing using these processes for the entire five days. I did over 50 hours of healing in that five-day period. So very, very long days. Hard days.
Kayleen Wright 14:02
And at the end of it I got this amazing result, which is I was able to heal my flashbacks and heal my nightmares and basically heal my PTSD. Now there was a little bit that I had to do left that I had to keep working on. But I healed my flash... never had a flashback again. Never had nightmares again. From doing that work, okay? And so in that timeframe, I did more healing work than a year's worth of therapy (which I think is just kind of a cool comparison), because I did 50 hours of healing work in five days. Now yeah, that was a haul that was that was hard and it was challenging, but look at the result.
Kayleen Wright 14:35
Right and so developing these processes allowed me to eliminate my pain on demand. And then from there, you can kind of guess where the story goes. Right just starting to reach out help people in my community, teach these practices to different people, show them to Brad. Than Brad and I created a bunch of processes together. We healed him, we finished healing me, and we created this system which is now called Broken to Unbreakable to take people from rock bottom, feeling broken, feeling hopeless, you know, having the broken relationships, having the anxiety, having the flashbacks, having the nightmares, having the depression, the crushing weight of depression, not being able to hold a job not being able to dream, not being able to even see into the future, taking them from feeling broken, to unbreakable using this process, right.
Kayleen Wright 15:19
So over the years, we refined it and refined it. And now we work with people all over the world in all different countries. It's an amazing, amazing system. And we are just so grateful that we get to be here, to be able to provide that system; that we've been able to create that system, to create that roadmap. Again, it was a process where I like to describe it, as you know, we fell on our face, we failed a lot, a ton for a couple of years.
Kayleen Wright 15:43
And then we figured it out. And that's what it was this kind of process of trial and error and learning and, and Brad is just an amazing, amazing systems thinker. He thinks in ways that are so, so out of the box. And so between the two of us, we were able to create this kind of amazing thing. And that's how we were able to heal and have the life that we have now. And just to paint a little bit of a picture on what unbreakable looks like, we get to wake up every day excited, passionate, happy, we have an amazing relationship. You know, we don't fight. There's no anxiety. We, you know, we trust each other, we love each other, we just have this like deep intimacy in an emotional sense that is so sacred and so special. And we realize, you know, we understand how sacred and special that is. But at the same time, that's something that we've built, you know, that wasn't something that was innate, you know, our love was it was innate, in some sense, like, we fell in love.
Kayleen Wright 16:30
And then we had all this pain, and we created the relationship that we have now, which is the best relationship that I've ever seen out there. You know, because we've created it. And, you know, we, we typically have looked at people that we want to mirror and we want to follow and we say okay, you know, they have a great relationship, they have a great relationship, what qualities do we want, and we've created something so unique and so special.
Kayleen Wright 16:54
And I just remember, and I'm on a little bit of a rant here, but I just remember, you know, Brad sharing once (I forget who he was sharing it with), but just like, I want a relationship--or me, the first time he shared this with me--he said, I want a relationship where we don't fight, we never have a fight. We never raise our voices at each other. And the first time he said that to me, I probably swore at you. I was probably like, that's, that's, that's effing ridiculous. That's ridiculous. That's not gonna work like no way. Because fighting was how I communicated and yelling was how I communicate. And that's the kind of the input that I had.
Kayleen Wright 17:27
And that's what I thought about relationships, you know, you yell and yelling is passion or whatever it was,, you know, healthyand here we are however many years later and we've created that. And that's really, really special and beautiful. And we're, you know we're healthy physically, mentally, emotionally; and we have this amazing life where we have deep connections with our family now, where we didn't before. We have good connections with our friends, we have an amazing, you know, business; we get to be here and help all of you and help people around the world make that transformation.
Kayleen Wright 17:57
But most importantly, we're at peace. We're happy. We're excited for life, we just live every day. And, and it's a beautiful thing. And it's something I wouldn't have even... like if someone had described that to me at rock bottom, I would have been like, "There's no way that's possible for me. I remember sitting at you know, across from a therapist, and sharing the dreams and the goals that I had for my life. And she was like, listen, Kayleen, like, you might want to start to let those things go, like you're working a minimum wage job--or I was making a little bit more than minimum wage, because I'd been at the place I was for a few years--she was like, you're probably just gonna stay there. And you know, you like it there.
Kayleen Wright 18:34
Now, I was pretty young, right? She was like, you like it there, you're gonna want to start to let those things go. That's what you're going to do with your life. You know, I shared how many kids I want to have.want to I only have five kids, I want to have this big family. You know, five kids comes with a lot of money that has to go with it just to you know, take care of them. And she was like, you know, maybe you just want to lower those goals. You know, maybe just just one kid; you just get married, you're working minimum wage job. Like there's nothing wrong with that.
Kayleen Wright 18:58
And, and I just remember how painful that was that that she said that. And there was a little while where I believed that, you know, a couple hours, maybe a couple days after I was like, "Oh my gosh, she's right. Like, I'm never going to be able to have what I want in my life. Like I can't I can't even take care of myself. How am I going to take care of even one kid? Right? How am I gonna be able to do that? You know, I scream at my partner; how am I gonna be able to take care of a kid? My dog's afraid of me; how am I gonna be able to take care of another human being? You know, she's right."
Kayleen Wright 19:23
And then Brad has always been like such a saving guiding light in my life. And I'm so, so lucky to have him; and I realize that and I want to share him with you. But I remember him having conversation with me and him just being like, that's that's BS. That's BS. Don't listen to her. Because you can have anything and everything you want. You just have to figure it out. He was like... he was the one that told me, and he he'll share if you're willing to, that he didn't believe healing PTSD was possible. But he sat me down on the couch and he was like, listen, like there has to be a way to fix this. There has to be a way to heal this. This is no way to live. You cannot live like this, there has to be something else. And you're gonna get it you just you keep working on it.
Kayleen Wright 20:04
I remember he wrote on his goals, his goals list every single night like, Kay sleeps through the night, every single night. Right? I used to watch him write that and it used to break my heart because I was like this, this guy is just like, so hopelessly positive. Like, there's no way that's gonna happen, right? And, and it does. And I sleep through the night, every single night and I sleep like a baby. Rather, I sleep like a rock, I don't think babies sleep really good.
Kayleen Wright 20:28
But anyway, and he sat me down, he was like, this is possible. And he didn't even truly believe it himself. But he was like, there has to be a way. There has to be something that you can do. There has to be a system, a set of, you know, rules or principles that you can follow to get from A to Z. And it turns out he was right, right? And him instilling that hope, even though it wasn't 100% for him; him giving me that hope, and that confidence, and that support allowed me to get from broken... get from that rock bottom point to where we are now, which is truly unbreakable and amazing and beautiful. And now we face challenges and they're (for lack of a better term) a breeze, right?
Kayleen Wright 21:02
We're still human beings. But we have all these tools and these skills. And I describe it as like, you know, if you go from broken to unbreakable--from feeling broken to rock bottom to healed, you have all this momentum. You build all these tools and skills that most (we'll call them) normal people, people who aren't hurt at this level do not have, they don't have those skills, because they haven't learned them, they haven't been in enough pain to learn them. They don't have that momentum. So you just basically, you know, you go from feeling broken you then you get to heal learning those tools and skills, gaining that momentum, and then you just keep going.
Kayleen Wright 21:35
And that's how you get to unbreakable. And that's how you get to where we are now. So that is kind of our story and how we kind of ended up here. And that's that's how we ended up doing what we do now. It's such a beautiful process and all comes from, from experience, right? I remember actually, Brad... you can think Brad for everything really... when we started the business. He was the one that convinced me to start the business. And he was like, You have to help other people. I said no, I was like, No, I don't want to. I was like, I want to help other people. But I just want to like live my life. And I don't want anyone to know that I was hurt. And like I just want to just, I don't want to wear this badge for the rest of my life.
Kayleen Wright 22:15
And obviously we've grown and developed since then. But you know, now we get to help people all over the world. And it's a beautiful, amazing process; and then too, the biggest gift is seeing people heal every day. And like seeing someone send a video like, you know, I went through Bbroken to Unbreakable. I took all the steps, I took the actions. And now this is what I have. And people go back to school; and people get their dream job; and people maybe, like, get their kids back, or learn how to communicate with their kids, or help their kids. Some of their kids are hurt, Right?
Kayleen Wright 22:45
Just like the way that my PTSD hurt Brad, in big, big ways. And my dog Shiloh, right. You know your kids and your your community and your friends and your family, you get to repair all that. You have the opportunity to repair all that when you heal. So... so that's my that's my rant, my schpeel. But it's good to be back here. And I'm so grateful again to be here sharing this with you and sharing the information. Right? That's just kind of the overview, the the story from Broken to Unbreakable, but to share each of those steps and what it takes to get to get from A to Z there.
Yeah, those are the Cliff Notes. Took a lot longer than--whatever that was--15 minutes to actually go through it. So you got the shortened version. But yeah, I mean, one thing I love, I love her her story and our story. And the way that it is told and the way that Kayleen tells it and the way that you tell it because you say it in a way that is hopeful. And people can derive lessons from it. Because when you hear most stories out there, it's like, "Oh, I had this trauma. And then I had this trauma. And then it caused me like all of this pain in my life. And oh, what's how does the story end? My life still sucks."
So that's what... I love that story. It's an amazing story. And I hope you can get one thing from my story, which is hope, which is what Kayleen said drove her to even get started. So, I think that's a big reason why we like to share that story still, it's to show you that it is possible too; that we've been there and came back from it. And that it's possible for you. To give you that hope and to show you that you can do this. And sometimes that's all you need is someone to believe in you or someone to be like, "Wow, they did that I can do it too." So... and hope is so valuable at that rock bottom moment. It was that sliver of hope, right? It was that little bit of hope that you held on to, right, that--
Kayleen Wright 24:31
Yeah, for sure!
--allowed you to keep moving forward, taking those hard steps forward. Because they are hard. They're so freakin' hard. And when you hit them, you're like, I don't know if I can do this. And no one else, no one else out there is telling you that you can do this. So that hope is so valuable in those low moments, and Kayleen was right like. It's not that I didn't believe that it was possible, because I believe anything is possible; like that is just kind of something that I have. I believe anything is possible. But I'm like I don't know. Like there's like that...there's also that uncertainty and doubt. And maybe it's like the uncertainty in uncertainty and doubt comes from whether or not you know, we can do it, you know, but I believe anybody can do anything that they set their mind to, as long as they work for it, and they stay dedicated and are persistent and never give up.
So like, as long as you keep going, you keep working and you never give up, I believe you are guaranteed guaranteed to succeed at whatever you choose to succeed at, it will just likely take longer than you expect it to. Because I feel like that is just how life works. But that's what we're... that's what we're here for, to kind of shorten that time frame for you. Because we've already been through it. You heard her story, there were lots of highs, there are lots of lows and like that just like kind of kept coming up and down and up and down and up and down. So if we can kind of help propel you upwards and prevent the downwards through this podcast and through our other content, that is my goal for you, so that you can have this steady growth to full recovery. And I doubt you even hear other people talking about full recovery, because most people don't believe in full recovery. They don't even think... some people get angry at us. Yes, some people send us a very angry email saying like, "How dare you give people hope for something that just isn't possible, you're just giving them this false hope that they will never achieve!" And I'm like, That is like such an awful thing to say--
Kayleen Wright 26:15
Yes, but it's very strange...
--I imagine those people are very hurt as well; and that they've probably gone through things and tried thing after thing after thing after thing, and have failed. But ultimately, I believe those people have given up. Alright, so going back to what I said before, if you never give up, you're guaranteed to get there. And that's part of the mindset, right? And I believe a lot of these people have given up, and they have, they have stopped, right? They've stopped taking those steps forward, and they've stopped and they're like, it is impossible.
And if you believe it's impossible, you're not going to try and take any steps forward. So changing that belief is so, so powerful! It is integral in your healing. If you want to start taking steps forward, you have to start leaning in to that hope, even if it's... even if it's tiny. You have to start trying to believe, right, trying to convince yourself that it's possible. Because that little bit of hope, and those little bit of steps forward will turn into bigger and bigger and bigger steps. You will believe in yourself more, you will believe in recovery more and it becomes this positive feedback loop that will just propel you more and more forward.
So make sure to keep tuning into these because they are powerful, and will ensure that you keep taking those steps forward, keep having that momentum, and keep believing in yourself. And we will stay committed to showing up to you every single... every single Monday from here on out.
Kayleen Wright 27:29
Yeah, and I think one thing just to like mention... because, you know, we've done our healing, right. And like, it's, I'm a very smiley, happy, like laughy person and so is Brad, right?So we like to smile and laugh and have a good time. And you know, sometimes even looking back on that story, like... that that story doesn't fill me with like sadness, or anger, or anything like that. There's no negativity when I look back on that story. And in fact, it fills me with gratitude.
Kayleen Wright 27:55
But something I want you to know, and I want you to know very seriously, is that when you're on this journey, it's not going to... it's not going to feel good all the time. And I just want to be straightforward with you about that. It's easy for you to look at, you know, our chapter 150 right now, and be like, "Okay, great. Okay, maybe it is possible, what if it is possible?" And start to ask those questions, ask yourself that question right now, what if it is possible for me? Right?
Kayleen Wright 28:19
And then you're going to be in the day to day, and you might have a thought in your head, like you maybe swear at me! And you're like Kayleen... Like, such... no way is this possible, right, and you say some really mean things! And that's okay, there's like in... when you're in it, it's not always going to feel this like good, uplifting, positive, motivated, it's not always going to feel like that. In fact, most of the time, it's going to be work, right? And now the work that you have to do, it's not, it's not impossible work, of course, right. And it's not rocket science.
Kayleen Wright 28:51
So the actions that we're going to give you-- the actions themselves are simple, right? They're straightforward. They don't take any background, any education, any special skills or anything like that, you can do them. Getting yourself to take those actions is a little bit of a different story, that's going to be a little bit more challenging, okay? And that's where you have to start to lean into that belief and just say, "Okay, what if, what if this is possible," and start to kind of trust those actions, and understand that not every day is going to be like that. And I hope every day that you listen to PTSD...that you listen to this podcast, that you're like, "Okay, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling hopeful."
Kayleen Wright 29:28
That's awesome. That's why we want you to tune in weekly, so that you feel that motivation, you feel that momentum, okay. And so you have that as an input. You have us there with you on those Monday mornings, or whenever it is you listen to it, you have us there with you. And then throughout the rest of the week, what typically is going to happen is you're going to take the actions, right, and then maybe by the time you get to Sunday, you're feeling a little bit more low again, we want you to tune in again, right? We want to bring you back up, we want to remind you that this is all possible.
Kayleen Wright 29:56
Because like Brad said at the beginning, this can be a very lonely journey, and for many people It is; and it doesn't have to be any more. We're here with you, we believe in you, okay, we want the best for you, we want you to heal. And you can do that. So just know, it's going to be hard. I promise you, it's worth it. And typically I say to people like this is worth it 100 times over. And I truly mean that, I truly mean that 100 times over, if I had to do all the work again, and again, and again, I would do it 100 more times to have what I have now. That's how good it is at the other end and recovery, healing: it's out there for you, it's waiting for you. It's not going to go anywhere.
Kayleen Wright 30:29
Just keep taking the steps, keep taking the actions, understand that there are going to be days where you're like, you're feeling, like, bad. You're feeling like you can't get out of bed, that's part of the process. Something you're gonna hear us talk a lot about is don't beat yourself up, don't beat yourself up, you're gonna have days like that, you're gonna have days where you feel... you maybe listen to podcasts, you feel so good, and you're like, ready to rock and roll and you want to go 100 miles an hour, and you do and you feel great. And that's awesome.
Kayleen Wright 30:55
And then there are gonna be days that don't feel so good. Maybe you had a lot of nightmares that night, maybe you had flashbacks--whatever it is--fights with your spouse, and they don't feel so good. They're all part of the process. Just kind of know that. And I just want to like preface that. Because it's easy to kind of paint it with a broad brush and be like you're gonna take step after step and you feel better, better, better, better, better. Now, this is a seesaw effect, you're gonna have some good days, some bad days, some good days and bad days, it's a mix. But you will get there, you get to the point where you eventually have more and more good days, and then all good days.
Yeah. And all the bad days, all the problems, all the pain, all those hard times are there to teach you a lesson, right? They're there to to learn from, right. So if you're, if you're experiencing all these hard things, they are there in your life, because you haven't learned a specific lesson yet. You haven't learned something o fhow to move past this problem in your life yet. So you have to you have to take that on as a challenge versus something that is just kind of something you can't get away from. Right. So that's another mindset shift to look at, like, your pain and look at your pain as something good, trying to teach you a lesson to get you to the new... a new new level in life. So...
Kayleen Wright 32:02
Yeah, so just something to think about. But we are here with you. We're here for you. And what I want to ask you now is, you know, when you listen to that story--now you listened mostly to my story. Obviously Brad's is kind of wrapped in there with mine, and you're welcome to share yours if you want. You don't have to. But when you look at my story, when you were listening to that story, what I want you to ask yourself, you know, we kind of have this scale, right, of you know from feeling broken--now you're not broken. This is important. You're not broken. You might feel broken, but you're not broken. Okay. So let's get rid of that identity. Right? You are not broken. Okay?
Kayleen Wright 32:37
We call it Broken to Unbreakable because that's how you feel at the beginning: broken. So from my rock bottom moment to unbreakable. So from Broken to Unbreakable. Where are you on that scale? You know, are you more towards broken right now? Or have you been doing some healing? Maybe you haven't had a rock bottom moment? That's great. We love to catch people before they have a big rock bottom moment. That's awesome.
Kayleen Wright 33:00
But I want you to think about like, where are your relationships? Are you at the point where maybe you've lost that person because of the anger, because of the lashouts, because of the PTSD? Where on that scale are you? Are you not quite there yet? Do you...maybe are you still holding a job? Or have you lost jobs? Right? Maybe you have a great financial situation? Or maybe not so much because of PTSD. Where are you at in regards to your addictions? Maybe it's like a little bit of a problem, but it's not "the end of the world" a problem. Or maybe you're drinking at 8AM, the second that you get up, okay, or using drugs or whatever it is, that is your go-to addiction. Maybe you're watching TV all day long. Just think about where you are on that scale, because I want you to think about that.
Kayleen Wright 33:45
You know, if you're not... and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, sometimes my job as a coach, our job as coaches is to give you a hug and a kick in the butt at the same time, and we're going to do that. We're not going to baby you. We're not going to kind of, for lack of a better term, like, let you get away with stuff. Okay? Because you can do this you are capable. Okay, but on that scale of broken to unbreakable wherever you are right now, wherever you are in regards to my story. Maybe you haven't lost the love of your life yet. Maybe they walked out the door yesterday. Maybe they're two fights away from walking out the door. Maybe you just don't know. Okay, maybe your nightmares are getting worse. Your flashbacks are getting worse. Whatever it is, if you're not moving towards unbreakable on that scale, whether you know it or not, you are moving towards feeling more broken. You are moving more towards that rock bottom moment.
Kayleen Wright 34:32
So we have an expression. It's just an expression of business, just a general expression. If you're not climbing, you're sliding, right? So if you're not climbing up the mountain, you're sliding down it. There is no such thing as standing still. If you're not growing, you're going in the other direction. Okay, if you're not climbing, you're sliding. If you're not moving towards unbreakable, you're moving more towards broken; you're moving more towards that rock bottom moment. And this is why it's so important and so crucial and so vital that you start taking actions that get you results on your healing journey, right?
Kayleen Wright 35:02
Maybe you're like listening and you're like "Kayleen. Like, I have been in therapy for decades." What I want you to do right now, if this is you, and you're you're saying, "I've been in therapy, I've been on medications, and nothing has worked for me," I want you to pause, and I want you to reflect on that. Something is wrong. If you've been in therapy for decades, and you don't have measurable results, I mean, decades, plural, I mean, even even months, like months plural, and you don't have measurable results, something is wrong, that piece of the puzzle does not fit. Stop trying to make it fit, does not fit, okay? Something is wrong, something needs to change. Right?
Kayleen Wright 35:40
I'm telling you, healing is possible. Brad telling you healing is possible. We're telling you people all around the world have healed and are healing every single day. That means it's possible for you, right? So if you're just leaning in with a little bit of faith to bridge that gap, a little bit of trust in us and saying, "Okay, well, what if it is possible," then reflect on the things that you're doing for your healing. Are they working? Do you have results? Do you have measurable results? Are you actively, measurably feeling better week to week, month to month?
Kayleen Wright 36:06
Now, not every week is going to be perfect, right? But month to month, you should be feeling better; you should be getting closer towards full recovery. If you're not, something needs to change big time. Okay, so we're gonna start to give you some actions, some things that you can do; some things that you can follow. Now, I'm not saying you for you to drop everything and, and, and, but whatever, whatever you want to do, just just reflect and know something needs to change. Okay?
Kayleen Wright 36:28
So we're going to give you actions, we want you to be here so that we can support you at the very highest level. And if you know anyone else, maybe you're part of some PTSD groups on Facebook, feel free to share this. We want to help the world! We have a mission. I'm going to pull it up.
For those on audio Kayleen is grabbing our canvas mission off the wall, so I'm gonna show it on video. Oh, so she can read it.
Kayleen Wright 36:51
Yes, yeah. So it's both. So you know, we have a mission, right. And for those of you maybe who can see this on, on video, this is our this is something that hangs on every wall of our office and our condo. So. Mission: to empower 100,000 people with the tools and resources they need to fully recover from PTSD by 2026, and 1 million by 2036. So we want to reach basically, now this is just by 2036. Right? We want to reach every single person on the planet. Now both of us only speak one language, so we're going to need your help. Okay, but we're gonna need your help anyway.
Kayleen Wright 37:23
Because everyone deserves healing. Even you. Yes, even you. That voice in your head was like, 'Not me!" Yes, even you; that's part of healing. We're going to get there. I used to feel that way too. I used to beat myself up. I used to hate myself and have all these negative thoughts about myself. And now I love myself, I think I'm the cat's meow, I'm the best thing ever. Okay. And if you're like, wow, that's really vain. No, that's just a lot of self love and a lot of work, right. But that's our mission, right?
Kayleen Wright 37:45
So our vision is to heal the world's past so they can love the present and build an extraordinary future. And that starts with you. So if you have anyone in your life, whether you're part of PTSD groups, or whatever it is, maybe you have someone in your life a close friend, share this with them; share the gift of healing, What greater gift can you give someone than the gift of growth and healing and recovery, and hope? Give them the gift of hope.
Kayleen Wright 38:10
So if you like it, definitely share it with your friends and family. But just know it is possible for you, and think about where you are. Remember, if you're not climbing, you're sliding. If you're not moving towards unbreakable, you're moving closer to broken; to feeling more and more broken, to losing the relationship, to losing the jobs, to feeling worse about yourself, to having worse nights' sleep, worse relationship with your friends, family kids. So something to think about.
Kayleen Wright 38:36
Any thoughts on that?
Kayleen Wright 38:39
Just go on, Kay... So again, that's what we're here to help you do. That's what we have for you. If you want to be involved and work with Brad or myself one on one right now what we're doing, we're doing free one on one PTSD recovery consultations. Basically what that is, it's a 45 minute phone call, where we help identify where you are now, where you want to be in six to 12 months. And then we help give you actions to bridge that gap... to bridge that gap between where you are now and where you want to be in six to 12 months. So if you're interested in that you can, I'm going to get the link or I got the email wrong,
And you can book a call with one of us. Again, it's an awesome opportunity to speak one on one with us to figure out where you are now, where you want to go; and help bridge that gap so that you can get the healing that you deserve. So that you can have the relationship that you want, so that you can have the job that you want, that you can just wake up and feel good! Have peace, have hope, have energy, have passion, you can have all of that. Even if there's nothing specific that you want in regards to goals or job; maybe you're retired and you're like well, you know, like I'm fine. I just want to like chill, that's fine.
You can walk on the beach every single day maybe with your dog or your your spouse, your partner, whatever it is by yourself doesn't matter and feel peace that is worth it. Just to feel that peace; to feel filled with love for yourself and love for the world around you and the people around you is so, so unbelievably valuable and unbelievably priceless. So if you want to jump on that call, again, go to overcoming ptsd.com/call. And you can schedule a one on one with one of us.
Other than that, please definitely subscribe so you get notifications to the podcasts--or if you're watching on YouTube to, the YouTube--hit that little notification bell so that you can get back here, get motivated every single Monday, see what you need to be doing. Just get a positive input: someone that believes in you, loves you. It's gonna fill you with hope, so that you can get the healing that you deserve and live the life that you deserve.
And definitely feel free to leave a comment on any anything. But like Brad said at the beginning, if you have a specific question that you want us to answer or a specific topic that you want us to cover, you can email
Kayleen Wright 40:53
So that's what I have for you... do have anything else?
Nope, that's good. That's good for me.
Kayleen Wright 40:59
We covered it. So thank you for being back here with us at the overcoming PTSD podcast. We are so, so excited to be back in action. I cannot even tell you! Maybe you can tell how excited I am. When I when I just go and go and go but we are so excited to be back with you. We love you. We believe in you at the highest level possible. We are here for you. You can do this. And we look forward to seeing you next week.
Kayleen Wright 41:22
On Monday. All right. Bye everyone.
See you guys later.